If All Else Fails
by twenty3
Summary: Nick makes the biggest mistake of his life, and he's willing to do anything to fix it. But will Greg let him, or is it too late? NickGreg. Rated M for language and themes.
1. Empty Apartment

I wanted to take a different approach to my favorite ship, Nick and Greg. By doing this, I want to show how strong their relationship actually is. I hope you enjoy.

I don't own anything.

* * *

Grissom sighed and took off his glasses. He gently put them on his desk and took one last look at the papers in front of him before looking up at the young man sitting across from him.

"You're absolutely positive this is what you want?" He asked.

Nick shrugged. "I don't have too much of a choice. I can't stay here...I ruined everything already. Greg can't stand to see me, and that's not fair to him. It'd be best for everyone."

Grissom nodded slightly. "Okay then. I hate to see you go...but do what you need to do. Just remember, you'll always have a job here waiting for you if you ever want to come back."

Nick stood, along with his supervisor, and they shook hands. "Thanks Grissom. I don't wanna leave...I have to. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." The older CSI said. "I have a feeling I'll be seeing you again."

All Nick could do was smile sadly before leaving Grissom's office. He walked slowly down the hallway and looked all around him, not wanting to leave the lab that he worked in for so many years. Memories flooded through his mind, and he couldn't help but smile at them. He loved his job, and loved the people he worked with even more. They were like his second family. Leaving was the hardest thing he's ever had to do, but he didn't have much of a choice. He felt trapped.

He glanced into Archie's A/V lab just in time to see Greg turn around. Their eyes met, and Nick felt his heart shattering slowly and painfully. Greg just stood there and stared back at him with that look in his eyes. That look of anger, pain, hate, and remnaints of love. A look that was there because of Nick.

Nick could feel tears stinging his eyes as Greg walked out of Archie's lab and came to a stop in front of him.

"You're really leaving, aren't you." Greg said as more of a statement than a question.

Nick nodded. "I have to."

Greg shook his head. "No, you don't. You could have stayed here, stayed with me. You didn't _have to_ ruin everything for whatever reason you're telling yourself you threw this away for. This is what you think want, even though it doesn't make any sense. You don't _have to_ run away. I'll never understand why you're doing this. I'll never understand why you don't love me anymore." And with that Greg walked away, past Nick.

"I do still love you." Nick whispered as Greg passed him, but Greg didn't hear him. He just kept walking. Nick turned around and wanted to scream as loud as he could that he was sorry and that he never stopped loving Greg, but he couldn't. He couldn't get the lump in his throat to go away. There was nothing more he wanted than to stop Greg from walking away for good, from letting the biggest mistake of his life actually happen. But instead he just stood there and let the silent tears run down his face as he watched Greg walk away.

* * *

_"Greg, we need to talk." The words no one ever wants to hear. But Greg never expected anything bad. Not as bad as this._

_He came into the living room and sat down next to his boyfriend of five years. "What's up?" He asked. He could tell by Nick's eyes this wasn't going to be good, but it couldn't be too bad. He was wrong._

_Nick took a deep breath and forced his eyes up from the floor of the living room inside the house the two shared. He looked into Greg's dark brown eyes and wanted to stop himself from doing this, but couldn't. "I think...we need to..." He was having a lot of trouble finding the right words. "I can't do this anymore." He said finally._

_Greg stared blankly at him. "Do what?" He asked._

_"This. Us." Nick said. "This isn't what I want anymore...I need more. More that you can't give me."_

_Greg shook his head. "You mean a family? It's your parents, isn't it? They want you to settle down with a nice girl and have a family...I thought you didn't want that?"_

_"No, I do. I need that. I need to start over, get out of this city and forget everything that's ever gone wrong in my life here."_

_"You mean me." Greg's voice was hollow and weak. When Nick didn't answer, Greg stood up on shaky legs. "I can't believe this...are you serious?"_

_Nick nodded. "I'm sorry G."_

_The sound of his nickname only slightly affected Greg. "I don't understand...you're just up and leaving? All of a sudden?"_

_"I have to." Nick said as he stood as well._

_"Why?" Greg asked, tears threatening to spill from his sad eyes._

_"Because I don't love you anymore." Nick said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world._

_Greg felt like someone had just ripped his heart out and shoved it back in broken down into a million tiny pieces. The tears finally fell from his eyes, and he swore he saw a look in Nick's eyes that told him he was lying. But it was only there for a minute, and was quickly forgotten by the heartbroken ex-labrat._

_"Fine. Leave. I hope I never have to see you again, and if I do...it better kill me."_

Sitting on the plane, replaying that moment in his head over and over, made Nick hate himself even more than he had before. The last month had been hell. Sara had all but right out punched him in the face. Catherine had acted like the disappointed but supportive mother that can't understand why someone would do something so stupid. Grissom had been professional and been the most helpful, other than Warrick. Nick's best friend was so surprised when he was told he was leaving, and it had been hard to come to grips with. But Warrick had tried to help Nick out as best as he could, despite the toll it was taking on the youngest member of the CSI team.

Greg wouldn't work with Nick, and everytime he saw him he felt like he was going to be sick. A few times, he actually did get physically sick from the thought of what Nick was doing. Nick had stayed with Warrick for those weeks before the transfer papers had been sent to Boston and Nick had gotten an appartment set up there along with his new job.

There was a small party of the graveyard shift, Brass, Sofia, Archie and Hodges for Nick on his last night. He couldn't leave without saying goodbye first. Nick was still trying to forget the look in his Warrick's eyes as he left his best friend behind at the airport.

Greg hadn't come to the party. His goodbye was their exchange of words in the hallway on Nick's way out. He wouldn't have been able to handle anything else. Greg felt like he was missing something inside of him. Nick had taken his heart with him when he left.

* * *

Even though Nick hadn't lived with him for the past month, the house still felt empty when Greg knew for sure that Nick was gone. Deep down, he thought this was just going to be a temporary thing, that Nick wasn't really going to go through with this and leave. He didn't want to believe that Nick could just forget about the five years they were together and leave him. He didn't want to believe Nick didn't love him anymore. 

Nick left without saying goodbye. He had barely even tried. And he hadn't given him a good reason for leaving. Greg would be the first to admit that they're relationship had gotten a little rocky and they had fought at times, but who didn't? There had never been any terrible fights, and they always made up after.

The worst it had ever gotten was four years ago when Greg had been asking Nick every day when they could tell the rest of the team about their relationship. Nick was scared, and Greg understood that. At first. After a while, he had gotten frustrated and was beginning to think Nick didn't want to make a committment.

_"I don't see what the big deal is." Greg said as he stood from the couch and started walking away._

_Nick stood up and pulled on Greg's wrist, spinning him around. "I just...I'm not ready yet, okay? I'm sorry but I don't wanna mess this up."_

_"How would it mess this up? If anything it would make it better. We could stop sneaking around and wouldn't have to lie anymore."_

_Nick was beyond annoyed. He quickly raised his hand and ran it through his dark hair. But that's not what Greg thought he was going to do. The younger man visibly flinched away with fear in his eyes. Nick's hand froze, still in his dark hair, and he stared at Greg silently. Greg opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it and retreated to the bedroom. Nick stood there for a few minutes before following Greg._

_Nick had no trouble crawling into bed and cuddling up next to Greg in the complete darkness of their bedroom. He wrapped his arms around Greg's waist and pulled his back flush against his chest and rested his cheek on the side of Greg's head. _

_Nick gently kissed the sensitive spot behind Greg's left ear before whispering, "I'm sorry Greg...I would **never** hit you. I was just frustrated. It's my fault you thought I was going to...but believe me sweetie, I would never hit you. I'm never gonna hurt you."_

Greg wiped away the tears that were falling from his eyes. He couldn't remember why he had believed Nick when he said that. He didn't know why he believed anything he had told him. Now none of it mattered. Nick was gone, and Greg was left alone and heartbroken. And he didn't think Nick even cared at all.

* * *

Nick sat on the floor in his pitch black, empty apartment. He took another pull from his beer before putting the bottle on the hardwood floor. He rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. He was actually here. Now that he was, he couldn't remember exactly why he had left. All he knew was it had something to do with him being scared. But he couldn't remember what he was afraid of.

He sighed heavily and stared out his living room window. He could hear the heavy Saturday night traffic in Boston because of the nearby Red Sox game. If he closed his eyes and forgot where he was, Nick could easily pretend he was sitting on the roof back at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. He just wished he didn't have to pretend.

Nick hadn't stopped thinking about Greg since he had told him he was leaving. He kept trying to tell himself he wasn't in love with him anymore and that he needed to move on. That's why he had left. Everything that had happened to him in Vegas scared him, and he didn't want anything bad to happen ever again. So he left behind his job, friends, and the one person he loved more than anything. All because he was afraid that one day it wouldn't be there anymore and he wouldn't have anything left.

Ironically enough, that's exactly how Nick felt right now. Alone.


	2. A Part of Me

Three months is a lot longer than it sounds, especially in Greg's situation. That first month after Nick left, he had felt like he was literally going to die. The pain was so unbearable, he wished he would so it wouldn't hurt anymore. His hopes had been sky high that month. Everytime the phone rang or there was a knock at the door, he prayed it would be Nick. 

But it never was.

With the help of his friends, Greg was able to move on as best as he could. He went back to being the old Greg, the one that was always cracking jokes and fun to be around. On the outside, he seemed okay. He was promoted to CSI Level Two and was doing very well at his job. But no one could see that on the inside he was falling apart every day that Nick was gone.

Now, three months after Nick's departure, Greg was sitting at his kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee and going through his mail. He came across the monthly payment for the house, and that's when he realized that he hadn't made a payment on the house in a few months. He opened the bill and looked over it, but there was no past due fees or anything. He didn't remember paying them. Someone else must have.

_Nick._

He was the first person that popped into Greg's head. He must be paying them online or something. Greg was a little relieved, because now he had a good reason to call Nick. It would be a quick conversation. He would just tell him to stop paying the bills and that he left a few things behind. That would be enough for Greg. All he wanted was to hear his voice again.

Greg picked up his cell phone and was amazed at how quickly he dialed Nick's number. He didn't even have to think about it. He hesistated for a second before he pressed SEND. Why did he even want to talk to Nick? All the memories he had left of that guy were all bad because that's all he chose to remember. Nick's last month in Vegas had been hell for both of them, but especially for Greg.

_"I'm surprised you didn't see this coming." Nick said as he threw a few pairs of jeans into his bag. He had yet to make eye contact with Greg over the last few hours._

_"Sorry I missed the part where you completely changed overnight."_

_"Come on Greg. We fought all the time. It wasn't working out. It's better that I'm doing this now than later, it'd be a lot worse if we dragged this out."_

_Greg still didn't understand. "We didn't fight all the time. We did a few times, everyone does. That's normal. What are you really afraid of?"_

_Nick sighed as he zipped his bag shut. He finally looked up and met Greg's eyes. "I don't want to do this to you, but I have to. I have to get out of here and start over. I can't stay here anymore. I'm sorry."_

_Greg shook his head. "Stop saying that. You're not sorry. You don't care. If you did, you wouldn't be doing this. No matter what you say to me or yourself, you're wrong. You're just being selfish." Greg's voice was shaking along with his hands. "Don't do this." He whispered._

_That look in his eyes and the sound of his sad voice almost made Nick stay. Almost. But he couldn't. He knew that someday, Greg wasn't going to be there anymore. He knew that given his luck, something awful would happen and he wouldn't be able to handle that. He wasn't going to stick around and wait for the worst day of his life. He had to leave and get away from Greg for his own sake. Nick knew he was capable of hurting the person he loved even more than he was right now._

_"I have to G." There it was again, Greg's nickname. Nick slowly walked over to Greg and lightly brushed his fingers over Greg's cheek. "Try to move on and just forget me. I don't want you to love me anymore. I really am sorry."_

_Greg didn't stop Nick when he leaned in and pressed their lips together. As much as he knew it was going to hurt later, Greg didn't want to think about it right now. So he kissed Nick back as hard as he could and hoped he would never have to stop._

Greg rubbed the back of his neck and thought for another minute before finally pushing SEND. He figured it was best to get it over with before he changed his mind.

The phone rang twice before a fimiliar female voice answered on the other line.

"Hello?" Greg couldn't put a name with the voice, so he just let it go, figuring he probably didn't know who it was.

"Hi...uh, is Nick there?" He asked. Greg hoped Nick hadn't changed his number or something.

"Yeah he is, one minute please." There was a slight pause and Greg could hear whoever had answered call to Nick that he had a phone call. A few seconds later, and it was Nick's voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

The slight Texas accent filled Greg's head and he felt a sharp pain in his heart. "Hey Nick."

Nick almost dropped the phone when he heard Greg's voice. He thought he was imagining things. "Greg?" He asked to be sure.

"You work fast." The younger man said, in reference to the female who had answered the phone.

_Yeah, it's definitely Greg._ Nick thought to himself. He couldn't help but smile slightly at Greg being Greg. "That was Jen. She's visiting from New York." Nick said.

Now Greg remembered. He couldn't believe he didn't recognize Nick's sister's voice sooner. "I knew she sounded familiar...I can't believe I didn't realize that was her."

Nick laughed lightly. "Yeah, I'm surprised she didn't know it was you. She would have never handed the phone over if she had though." After a few moments of awkward silence, Nick asked, "So what's up?" As casually as he could.

Greg had to think for a second about why he had called. "Oh...you can stop paying the bills on the house, I can handle that." Before Nick could answer, Greg added, "And you left some stuff here. Your sweatshirt and stuff like that."

Nick knew what Greg was talking about because he had left them on purpose. The sweatshirt Greg meant was Nick's old Cowboys hoodie. He had left it because he knew how much Greg loved it and didn't have the heart to take it with him.

"I'll send it to you if you want." Greg suggested.

"No, it costs a lot and everything. I'm coming back in a week for Lindsey's birthday. I'll pick it up then." Greg was silent on the other end, so Nick said, "Or I could send Warrick or something over if you don't want to see me. I understand."

Greg closed his eyes. "No, it's fine. You can come get it. I don't care."

Nick's smile widened a little. "Okay. Well, I guess I'll talk to you next week."

"Okay...bye." Greg snapped his phone shut and put it down on the kitchen table. He kept his eyes closed against the sting of tears behind his eyelids. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to handle seeing Nick again, but he was going to find out soon enough. He just hoped everything went smoothly and they didn't get into a fight or anything. He didn't want to ruin Lindsey's birthday.

This would be a lot easier if he wasn't still in love with Nick.

* * *

Nick stared down at his cell phone sitting in the palm of his hand. He was still shocked that Greg had called him. Hearing the sound of the younger man's voice made Nick's heart ache the more he thought about it. Part of him wanted to call Greg back and just talk to him like they used to. But he knew he couldn't do that anymore.

Jen came back into the living room carrying another cardboard box. "Who was that?" She asked as she started unpacking the things inside the box.

Nick was still staring at the phone. "It was Greg."

Jen stopped what she was doing and walked over to Nick. "Really? I wish I had known it was him so I could have apologized to him for my little brother being such an ass and everything."

Nick sighed and put his phone in his jeans pocket. "I know that, you know that, and I'm pretty sure he knows that too."

"If you know, then why did you do it?" Jen asked as she crossed her arms in front of her.

Nick shrugged. "I don't know. I just didn't want to wait for another bad thing to happen to me there. Sooner or later, something was going to happen and when it did..." Nick trailed off.

"Nicky..." Jen said in her motherly tone. "You can't live that like. You can't expect bad things to happen. When that gets in the way of you living your life, you don't take any chances. If you don't take any chances, then you'll never know what you could have."

"I know what I could've _had_...I had everything I wanted." Nick shook his head sadly. "But I threw it away because I didn't want to lose it. I took the easy way out."

Jen rubbed her younger brother's arm soothingly. "You're gonna fix it." She said softly.

"How?" Nick asked skeptically.

"I don't know, but someday you will. I know this because I know Greg pretty well and I know you better than you know yourself. Someday, you'll realize what you did and you'll find a way to make it better." Nick smiled slightly at his sister's optimistic attitude towards everything. "But until then..." She said, looking around her at the boxes still spread throughout the apartment. "You gotta start unpacking. This is ridiculous Nick."

Nick nodded in agreement. "I know. Why do you think I called you?"

"Because you're heartbroken and lost and needed someone to confide in." Jen said as she picked up a box and handed it to Nick.

Nick rolled his eyes. "Yeah...exactly." He said sarcastically.

Nick started unpacking the rest of the boxes with Jen, but was barely paying attention to what he was doing. He couldn't stop thinking about what Jen had said about living scared. He couldn't really change that. That's how he's lived since he was nine years old. The only way he could think of getting away from being hurt again was to run away from everything. So he did.

He knew he had to move on soon. Forget about everything back in Vegas and truly start over. The only problem is, he didn't want to forget about everything. He still talked to Warrick everyday. How could he just forget about his best friend, even if he was all the way back in Nevada? Nick had been trying to forget about Greg, but the more he tried not to think about him, the more he thought about him. And the more he thought about him, the more he missed him.

This would be a lot easier if he wasn't still in love with Greg.


	3. Visitation Rights

Greg had spent the last three days practicing so he could ignore Nick without it being too obvious. As much as he had missed him, he wanted nothing to do with him. Greg knew that if he talked to Nick enough or anything, it would be that much harder when Nick left again. In the back of his mind, Greg was trying to figure out a way to get Nick to stay. So far, he hadn't come up with anything worth trying. 

The team had done a good job of not mentioning Nick coming back for Lindsey's birthday. They knew Greg had talked to Nick and knew he was coming back, but other than that they all stayed away from the subject. After the last shift before Nick's return, Warrick couldn't help himself from checking up on Greg. He found the younger man sitting on the bench in front of his locker, tieing his shoes. Warrick sat down next to him, causing Greg to look up.

"Hey Warrick, what's up?" He asked casually.

"Not much...I was kinda hoping I could talk to you about something." Warrick was trying to ease into talking about Nick.

Greg nodded slightly. "Yeah, sure." He said with a small smile.

"I don't wanna pry or anything...but I just wanted to make sure you're okay, with Nick coming back and everything."

Greg looked down at the floor, then back up at Warrick. "Yeah, I'm fine. I guess. I don't know. I talked to him and everything. I think I'll be fine, as long as I don't have to talk to him or see him for an over extended amount of time."

"I don't blame you there." Warrick said. "Nick's my best friend, but that doesn't mean I agree with what he did to you. You're my friend too, and what he did was...well, I guess I don't have to tell you. What I'm trying to say is, if he's being a jerk to you or whatever, just tell me. I don't think he will be, but still. That wouldn't be fair to you."

Greg was a little surprised. "Really?"

Warrick nodded. "Yeah. I'm still pissed at him for leaving. I don't get why he did. I bet he still doesn't know why he did. Either way, it's his fault and you shouldn't have to suffer because of him."

"I really appreciate it Warrick. But no matter what, I'm still gonna suffer because of him." Greg said without really realizing he said it.

"You're still in love with him, aren't you?" Warrick asked.

"Yeah." Greg said softly. "I can't help it. I tried not to be, but it's too damn hard. I really wish I wasn't...but I can't stop."

"I'm sorry man." Warrick said sympathetically.

Greg shrugged. "It's not your fault. He left you too."

Warrick nodded slowly and decided it would be best if he left Greg alone for a while. "I gotta get going though. If you need anything, just let me know okay?"

Greg nodded. "Yeah. Thanks Warrick."

"No problem." Warrick said before he left the locker room, leaving Greg sitting there alone again.

He sighed heavily and ran his hand through his spiky brown hair. He knew that despite his best efforts, seeing Nick again was going to be unbelievably hard. He remembered when he told Nick that if he ever had to see him again, he hoped that it would kill him. He really wished that was going to be the case so this wouldn't hurt anymore. The pain was so overwhelming, Greg wasn't sure how much more he could take.

* * *

Nick's stomach ache got worse the closer he got to Las Vegas. The lump in his throat only got bigger and if he could, he would turn the plane around and go back to Boston. But he couldn't, so he had to go through with this and see Greg again whether he liked it or not. The problem wasn't that he didnt' want to see Greg. It was that he knew Greg didn't want to see him. He couldn't get the look Greg had in his eyes everytime he had looked at him before he left out of his mind. It was like a bad record stuck on repeat and he had to hear it over and over again.

Nick dug his fingers into the arm rests of the chair he was sitting in. At least he got to fly first class back to Vegas. That was probably the only perk in going back. That and Jen went with him because she was very good friends with Catherine and Lindsey loved her. Despite worrying about seeing Greg, Nick was fairly excited to see everyone else again. He missed Warrick and Catherine, and of course Grissom and Brass. He even missed Sara and Hodges, contrary to their hostility towards him the last month he was in Vegas. He just hoped everyone wasn't still extremely pissed at him for leaving.

Jen tore her eyes away from her book and looked at her younger brother with a worried expression on her face.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

Nick nodded. "I'm fine." He kept his eyes focused on the seat in front of him, keeping his eyes away from Jen's.

"No you're not." She said, shaking her head. "You've been acting really weird all day." Nick still didn't meet her eyes. "Look at me Nicky." Nick couldn't stop himself from looking over at his sister. She only used his nickname when she was truly concerned about him. The look in his eyes gave him away, again. "You're still in love with him."

"What? No I'm not." Nick said. It wasn't hard to tell he was lying.

"Yes you are. You lied to him, you didn't stop loving him. Why did you leave then?"

Nick sighed. "I told you. I was too afraid to lose him."

Jen shook her head again. "That makes absolutly no sense and you know it. You ended up doing what you didn't want to happen. You still don't have him."

"I know, that's the point. It was easier this way. I made the decision to get it over with now so that it wouldn't be so hard when something happened."

"Why do you just assume that something awful is gonna happen?" Jen asked. Nick didn't answer. He instead looked down at his hands and pretended they were more interesting than they actually are. "Nick, a lot of bad things have happened to you throughout your life, and I'm sorry that they did. I know it's hard to trust someone and believe that everything's going to be okay. How can you know that something's gonna happen? What if it doesn't? You threw away the one thing that made you happy because you didn't think it would last."

Nick closed his eyes. "That's not exactly true."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I...I didn't deserve him. I was afraid that I would be the one hurting him worse than I did. With my luck, I'd end up getting shot or something and it would kill him. I needed to get away from him for his own good. I know that doesn't make any sense either but...I didn't know what else to do."

Jen wished there was something she could to do help Nick. It wasn't fair that he had been through so much he wasn't able to trust himself. She wanted to help, but didn't know how. All she could think to do was rub his shoulder soothingly and let him rest his head on her shoulder the rest of the flight to the city her youngest brother half loved, half hated.

* * *

Warrick couldn't help but smile when he saw Nick and Jen Stokes walking towards him across the airport. They both smiled back when they finally found him and closed the last couple of yards between them. Jen hugged Warrick and kissed his cheek as her usual greeting. After she finally let go, the two best friends also hugged and did their little fist bump they always did.

"How was your flight?" Warrick said as he took Jen's bag from her.

"Fine." Nick said. When Warrick turned around, Jen shot him a look and Nick just rolled his eyes.

"So how have you been?" Jen asked Warrick as they started walking out towards the Denali in the airport parking lot.

"Good, and you?"

"Fine." Jen responded.

"How's Catherine and everyone else?" Nick asked.

"They're all good. Catherine almost got Ecklie fired for saying something sexist. Grissom is getting worse with his whole bug teachings and whatever. I have a pool going with Archie and Sofia over how long it's gonna take Brass to shoot Grissom for all of his little speeches and whatnot that annoy the hell out of Brass. He'll do it too, if Sara doesn't first."

Nick laughed. "I'm surprised she hasn't yet." They finally made it to the car and loaded the bags inside before getting in themselves. Nick hopped into the passenger seat so Jen could stretch out in the back. "How's Greg?" Nick finally asked.

Warrick shrugged, trying not to make it a big deal. "He's alright. I talked to him about you coming back, he's fine with it. Just as long as you're not an ass to him."

Nick knew he deserved that. "I know...I'm not going to be. I promise."

Warrick nodded. "Good. You did enough damage to that kid."

Out of the corner of his eye, Nick could see Jen nod in agreement. Nick didn't say anything back. He just looked out the window and watched as they got closer and closer to Warrick's house. When they were finally there, Nick felt like he never left. Most of him wished he hadn't.

Once they got settled in, Jen couldn't help but take Warrick's keys and go off to visit Catherine. The two friends hadn't seen each other in a long time, and neither one of them could wait to reunite. So Jen took off, leaving Nick and Warrick sitting in the living room watching TV.

The silience was too much for Nick to handle. "You're still pissed at me aren't you." He said, but not in the form of a question.

Warrick nodded. "Yeah. Can ya blame me?"

"No." Nick said, shaking his head. "I don't blame you for hating me because I hate me."

Warrick turned off the TV and turned so he was facing Nick. "I don't hate you. I don't understand why you left, and I'm mad at you for just up and leaving. It just sucks without you here man."

"I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't left." Nick said quietly.

"Than come back." Warrick said simply.

Nick shook his head. "I can't. I fucked up too bad, I can't fix it now no matter how much I want to."

Warrick knew his best friend all too well. "You're still in love with Greg."

Nick knew it was hopeless to try and lie to Warrick, especially about this. "Yeah."

"Then there's nothing to fix." Warrick said. He thought Nick could figure out a way to make things work if he knew Greg felt the same way.

"I messed everything up...Greg hates me."

Warrick shook his head. "No he doesn't. He's still in love with you."

Nick's heart wrenched at that thought. He had hoped that Greg would be able to move on and get over him so it wouldn't be so hard for him. Nick should have known better.

"He can't be...he was supposed to just move on and forget about me." Nick thought out loud.

"How can you expect him to? It's only been three months and you guys were together for _five years_ Nick. It wasn't like it was a short little fling. You're not over him yet either."

Nick hung his head. "I'm never going to be."


	4. After Party

Warning: Adult content in the love scenes, but nothing too extreme. Still, I warned you.

* * *

At first, Nick and Greg both thought they were going to be able to get away with not seeing each other the entire party. Between all the adults and kids there, it wasn't hard to hide yourself in a crowd. But when everyone was called to the deck for the cake, it happened. Greg looked up and his eyes instantly met Nick's. He couldn't look away, or even move at all for that matter. Nick smiled weakly and took another sip of his beer before tearing his eyes away from Greg's. 

The next half hour consisted of stolen glances and the occassional stare where they were both looking at each other. Greg couldn't help but notice Nick had gone through four of five beers very quickly. He hoped that Nick's tendency to drink and smoke a little too much hadn't come back. Their job was extremely draining and stressful, and for the first few years, Nick had used alcohol and cigarettes to help him cope. Until he started dating Greg.

_Greg could smell the smoke before he even opened the door. When he did, he immediatly started coughing and waved his hand in front of his face to try and clear some of the smoke away from his breathing passages. Once his vision got used to it, he could see Nick sitting on the floor with his back against the couch and his knees hugged to his chest. Greg kneeled down in front of his boyfriend and pulled the cigarette but from between his lips and put it out in the over flowing ask tray on the coffee table._

_"You can't keep doing this." Greg said. He ran his hand smoothly through Nick's dark hair._

_"He was a little kid...just like I was...and his mom thought what she was doing to him was okay. How can anyone think something that awful is okay?" Nick's eyes were glassy from the tears that were building up, threatening to pour down._

_Greg didn't know what to say. He had heard about Nick being on another sexual abuse case, but hadn't gotten to see him during the shift to see if he was okay. He could see now that he clearly wasn't. Before Greg could think of anything to say, Nick was standing and heading out the back door. He disappeared into the cool night air, leaving the door open behind him. Greg followed closely, and his heart broke when he heard the sound of Nick throwing up from just beyond the steps to the deck in the backyard._

_Greg stood behind Nick and rubbed his back soothingly as the older man lost his dinner onto the grass. Greg kneeled when Nick started to lean back. Nick sat down and let his back fall against his boyfriend's chest. His breathing started to slow down when Greg gently wrapped his arms around his shoulders and held his shivering body tight._

_Greg lightly kissed the side of Nick's head. "It's okay Nicky. You're safe sweetie."_

_Nick closed his eyes and gripped Greg's wrists with his shaky hands. "I just can't...I can't stop thinking about it. I thought I did something wrong...I thought I deserved it..."_

_"You didn't do anything." Greg squeezed Nick tighter. "It wasn't your fault and you did **not** deserve that at all. You don't deserve anything but the best of everything. You're an amazing person Nicky, and no one can take that away from you."_

_Nick leaned his head back so it was resting on Greg's shoulder. "I'm sorry I'm so pathetic G."_

_"Don't be sorry, because you're not." He kissed Nick's neck and whispered, "You're the strongest person I've ever met. Everything that you've been through...no one else would have been able to handle. You have no idea how great you are."_

_Nick opened his eyes and craned his neck so he was looking at Greg. "I'd be nothing without you."_

_Greg smiled and stood slowly, helping Nick to his feet. "Come on, let's get you inside and to bed."_

_Nick merely nodded and followed Greg back into the house. He went right to the bathroom and washed his mouth out before brushing his teeth. He went into the bedroom where he found Greg standing at the foot of the bed, taking off his shirt so he could go to bed. Nick walked up behind Greg and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling Greg's hips against his own. Greg was about to protest, but then Nick started kissing his neck in that amazing way he does and he couldn't make words come out of his mouth. Nick spun Greg around and captured his mouth in a breathtaking kiss. He pushed him back until they landed on the bed, Nick's body covering Greg's as he arched up for more contact._

_Greg somehow managed to pull away and look Nick in the eyes. "We don't have to if you don't wa-"_

_But Nick cut him off. "I want to...you're the only person I can do this with without..." Nick trailed off, not able to finish his sentence. But he didn't have to. Greg understood._

_"Whatever you need." Greg leaned back up and kissed Nick again, and got lost in what he believed to be the best feeling in the world._

Looking at Nick now, Greg could remember how easily he got him to give up his hazardous ways of coping. Nick willingly let Greg help him, and he didn't need nicotine and alcohol anymore. Greg hoped that now, without him there to help, Nick would still be able to find some other way. He hated to see Nick the way he was when he was sad and drunk. It was heart breaking, even if his heart was already broken.

Greg sighed and started walking off the porch with a few other people when he saw Lindsey run up to Nick and jump on him. He forced back a smile and headed down to the yard where he saw Jen and Brass talking by the pool.

* * *

Nick had almost fallen over when the fourteen year old had hurled herself at him. He laughed as he steadied himself and hugged Lindsey back before she pulled away. 

"Happy birthday kid." He said with a smile.

"Thank you." She said, smiling back. The smile was soon gone, and was replaced by an angry look. Lindsey reached out and hit Nick as hard as she could, which was pretty hard.

"Ow!" Nick said, rubbing his arm. "What was that for?"

"You know what that was for. How could you just leave?" She asked. The look in her eyes changed from anger to sadness.

Nick sighed and put down his beer bottle. "I had to honey. I can't explain why...but you know I wouldn't leave if I didn't have a good reason to."

"If it was a good reason, you would be able to explain to me, and everyone wouldn't have gotten mad at you." For a fourteen year old, Lindsey was very smart and mature. She loved her Uncle Nick and didn't understand how he could just leave, especially when he had so much here that he had worked for.

Nick wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry Linds." He said sincerely.

She shrugged slightly. "Don't say that to me, go say it to Greg. You hurt him the worst."

And with that she was gone, running off to go hang out with her friends. Leaving Nick standing on the deck, alone. He sighed heavily and picked his beer back up and took a long pull from it. He turned around and leaned against the railing, looking out over the yard. He knew it wasn't a coincidence that his eyes wandered over to where Greg was standing, talking to Jen. He couldn't take his eyes off of the younger brunette, and he didn't really mind that much.

* * *

Jen had hugged Greg for about five minutes before she finally let go of him. She had to fight back tears, but Greg made it easier for her to do it by smiling widely. 

"Why do you always try to suffocate me whenever I see you?" He asked sarcastically.

"Because I miss you so much. How are you?"

Greg shrugged. "I'm fine, you?"

Jen ignored his question. "So you've been lying to yourself this whole time huh?" Jen knew Greg didn't have any brothers or sisters, so he didn't really have anyone looking out for him or there for him to turn to. So she acted like his older sister, not that she could help it.

Greg couldn't help but be grateful that Jen cared that much about him and treated him like her own little brother. "I'm not lying...I'm just not being completely truthful."

Jen rolled her eyes. "That's basically the same thing. Do you want to talk about it?"

Greg actually hadn't really talked about it with anyone, not even Sara or Catherine. He hadn't wanted to, but now he figured it was for the best. "I...I don't even believe it's real sometimes." He said quietly. "I keep thinking that he's gonna come home or that I'll see him at work. Then when I don't, all I can do is pretend I don't want to see him."

"I'm sorry he's such an idiot and that this is so hard on you."

Greg looked down at the ground and shook his head slowly. "I just don't know what I did wrong."

Jen put her hand on his arm and squeezed it gently. "Nothing. It's not your fault. He messed up, not you."

"I can't believe that either. He said...he told me he was leaving because he didn't love me anymore. He just...stopped." Greg looked up at Jen and smiled sadly. "I just wish I could do the same."

* * *

Nick had been standing on Greg's doorstep for at least twenty minutes. It sounded weird to call it Greg's doorstep and Greg's house because he had lived there with him. Earlier. Before. Before he left, leaving everything behind. Before he made the biggest mistake of his life, even though he was trying to convince himself that wasn't true. 

He finally worked up enough courage to knock on the door that he had been staring at for a long time. It didn't take long for the knob to turn and Greg's body appear on the other side of the door.

Greg stared at Nick, unable to say anything. He tried not to think of how good he looked in his dark jeans and semi tight navy blue t-shirt. Instead he focused on his eyes, which proved to be an even bigger torment than the rest of Nick's body. His eyes had always gotten the best of Greg, and this was no exception.

Nick finally said something. "Hey...I uh...just came by to get that stuff you mentioned."

Greg paused for a second before he remembered what Nick was talking about. "Oh yeah...come in." Greg stepped aside to let Nick in, and when the older man passed he couldn't help but inhale the amazing scent that was Nick. Greg groaned inwardly as he closed the door and went back into the house behind Nick.

"You didn't change much." Nick said as he looked around the living room.

Greg looked around as well and shrugged. "I never really thought to." Their eyes met again, and Greg's heart stopped beating for a second before it started up again, a lot faster than he could ever remember it beating before. He wasn't able to tear his eyes away from Nick's, who seemed to be having the same problem.

Nick shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and smiled slightly. "I uh..." He started, but trailed off. He didn't know what he supposed to say or how to say it. "I'm sorry. I know you don't believe me when I say that, but it's true. If I could change what I did..." Nick trailed off again, and his eyes fell to the floor.

Greg couldn't take it anymore. He started walking away towards the kitchen where Nick's stuff was, but right as he passed him he was stopped by the older man. Nick grabbed Greg's wrist and gently pulled him back until they were face to face and only inches apart.

"I never wanted it to end up like this Greg." Nick said softly.

Greg shook his head slowly. He looked into Nick's eyes and somehow manged to speak through the lump in his throat. "Do you still love me?" He choked out. "Because I'm still in love with you and this hurts so much. I wish there was someone else other than you to make it go away, but you're the only one who can."

Nick didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. His throat was not allowing words to be passed through it. So he did the only logical thing he could think to do at a time like this. The only way he could think to say everything without saying anything.

He kissed Greg.

He threaded his fingers through the soft brown hair and pulled Greg closer to him, covering his mouth with his own. Greg was so shocked at first he couldn't move. Then when the familiar feel of Nick's lips on his own sank in, he kissed him back even though he knew he probably shouldn't. But it just felt so good. So right.

Nick tasted so good, and Greg had almost forgotten how kissing him had felt. He never wanted to forget that, so he kissed Nick with everything he had. Nick's hands were on his hips, pulling him as close as possible. The heat between them was intense, and only increased when Nick started grinding his hips against Greg's. Greg responded and pulled Nick's shirt over his head before the older man did the same with his own. Greg ran his fingers over the tense muscles on Nick's back and shoulders, every touch triggering a memory. Before he knew it, Nick was hooking his fingers in Greg's belt loops and leading him towards the bedroom. It wasn't long before Nick was on top of Greg, his hands running over every inch of skin he could.

They both kept their eyes closed, lost in a familiar feeling neither one ever wanted to let go.

* * *

Sorry that was so long. Actually, I'm not sure if it being long is a bad thing. Anyway...I hope you're enjoying this story. Thank you for the reviews. Any suggestions are also welcomed. 


	5. Separated

Sorry if this gets a little confusing. The first part is the day after Nick and Greg sleep together, and the rest is three months after the fact. Enjoy.

* * *

Greg smiled slightly as he began to wake up. Memories of the previous night came rushing back, and Greg thought that he had done the one thing that could make Nick stay. But when he opened his eyes, he realized just how wrong he was.

The sheets beside him were cold and vacant. He stretched his arm out as far as he could, expecting to feel warm skin at any second. When he felt only more cold emptiness, he knew Nick had left. He didn't want to believe it, so he quickly got up and went into the living room. He wasn't there either. Greg's eyes turned to the kitchen. He looked on the counter where the box of Nick's stuff had been. That was gone too. The only thing that remained was Nick's Dallas Cowboys sweatshirt, folded where the box used to be.

Greg slowly walked up to the navy blue sweatshirt and stared down at it. He knew why Nick had left it. It was his favorite. Nick had always let him wear it whenever he wanted, which was a lot. Greg didn't like it because the Cowboys were his favorite team. He liked it so much because it smelled like Nick and was so warm and comfortable. Everytime he wore it he felt like he was laying next to Nick, warm and safe.

Tears blurred Greg's vision of the only part of Nick he had left.

* * *

**Three Months Later**

As soon as he got back home from work, Nick ran into the bathroom and fell to his knees in front of the toilet just as he got sick to his stomach. The more he thought about what he'd done, the sicker he felt. It wasn't because of the fact that he had slept with Greg. He had enjoyed that part, as always. It was what he had done after. Leaving Greg by himself, without saying goodbye or leaving a note or anything. It happened over three months, but Nick was still feeling guilty about it.

Nick fell back until he was laying on his back on the cold bathroom floor. He closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath while he rationalized his actions. He was trying to come up with a better reason for kissing Greg other than that he was still in love with him. Because he was trying very hard not to be. That would make everything a hell of a lot easier to deal with. All he had to do was get over Greg, and everything would be okay.

In all honesty, he didn't want everything to be okay. Not that way.

Nick slammed his fists into the tile floor and groaned in frustration. Why did he want what he wasn't supposed to want? Ever since he was little, Nick can remember his mom telling him how important it was to find a nice girl and settle down to start a family. He was supposed to do that because that was safe. There was little chance he would get hurt that way. That was what was expected of him.

Since when did Nick care so much about what he was _supposed_ to do?

The longer he layed there, the more he let himself believe the truth. He accepted the fact that he was still in love with Greg, and probably always would be. He also accepted the fact that he had made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving Greg to start over with something he didn't even want. He still thought that what he did was going to work out for the bet for Greg though. Nick knew he was capable of doing worse things to the younger man, and wanted Greg to be happy. He didn't want to hold him back or keep him from meeting the person that he reallt deserved. He wished he was good enough for Greg, but he just wasn't.

But most of all, he wished that he hadn't been so scared to lose something he already had.

* * *

Greg was extremely grateful for the fact that everything seemed to get back to normal fast. At least as normal as things had been since Nick had left. No one mentioned him at all anymore, and they all stopped looking at Greg with that sympathetic look in their eyes all the time. He could easily lose himself in his work and tried to forget about everything that had happened concerning Nick Stokes. 

It didn't work as well as he was hoping for.

It got to the point where everything reminded Greg of Nick. Everytime he drove home from work, he'd pass by that little ice cream place he got Nick addicted to. It was called _Mickey's, _which also reminded Greg of Nick because he frequently called the older man "Nicky" and it sounded the same.

Nick had never had a sweet tooth, until he started dating the guy with the biggest sweet tooth in Nevada. It only took a week before Nick was hooked as bad as his boyfriend was. Greg couldn't help but smile at all the times they had been there. Nick would always take him there after a rough case or would run out at all hours of the day when Greg was sick to get him something to make him feel better.

Greg couldn't go to _Mickey's_ anymore without feeling like he was going to break down. He hated everything that reminded him of Nick. All the songs on the radio and the old movies on TV that they would always watch only made him feel sick. Greg had come to that all the bad memories would be better to remember than the good ones. The only problem was there wasn't nearly as many bad memories as there were good ones.

Greg gripped the steering wheel tighter and looked the other way when he passed _Mickey's._ He tried to focus on something else. He got that feeling that he was forgetting something. He thought for a second before remembering what he was supposed to do_. I need to get dog food. _He thought to himself. _Ahh, nevermind. I got that last night...Maverick should be fine for the next couple of days._

Maverick.

Greg couldn't believe he forgot about the golden retriever as one of the things that reminded him of Nick. It was probably because he thought about Nick almost constantly, so it was hard to pick out what triggered it. He was still surprised that the Texan had left his beloved dog in Vegas with him.

Before he realized it, Greg was pulling into his driveway and walking up to the front door. Sure enough, as soon as it was open he could see Maverick wagging his tail and looking up at Greg with dark brown, happy eyes.

"Hey buddy." He said as he shut the door behind him and headed over to the couch, Maverick right on his heels. He had barely sat down before his hands were being hit gently with eager paws inticing Greg to pet him. He smiled and gave in. "I know Mav. Sorry I had to work so late." Maverick jumped up onto the leather couch and stretched out, resting his head on Greg's leg and letting his sleepy eyes close. "Good idea." Greg said groggily, and let his own brown eyes slowly close as well.

* * *

Nick wasn't exactly sure of what he was doing. What seemed like only a minute ago, he was sitting at the bar watching the Red Sox game on the big screen TV hanging above him. But now he was back at his apartment, making out with some girl that he didn't remember meeting. It wasn't until he felt her hands tugging at his belt that he realized what was going on. 

He broke the kiss and took a couple steps back, earning him a confused look from the blonde standing a few feet in front of him. She had to catch her breath before asking, "What's wrong?"

Nick shook his head. "I don't know. What's going on?"

The blonde smiled slightly. "I thought we were about to have sex. Are you okay sweetie? You were a little drunk when I met up with you after work. Are you feeling alright?"

_How drunk am I..._ Nick thought. Then it all came rushing back to him. _Jess._ "I uh...I guess not."

Jess stepped closer to him and lightly brushed her hand through his hair. Nick pulled back slightly at the familiar touch, but from the wrong person. "Get some rest. I'll call you tomorrow to check up on you. Goodnight." She kissed him on the cheek quickly before leaving.

Nick sank down onto the couch and took a deep breath. It had been six months since he'd left Vegas, but everytime he kissed someone he thought it was Greg. He more than thought it was Greg...he always wished it was. He would get so lost in pretending it **was **Greg that he'd comepletely forget where he was and who he was actually kissing, despite the fact that he'd been dating Jess for the last couple months.

Jess was a lawyer in Boston and Nick had met her through work. She was extremely smart and attractive, which reminded him a lot of Greg. Except she was a woman, and not nearly as outgoing as the ex-labrat. But it was better than nothing, even if he wasn't really in love with her. That could change, right?

Nick sighed and looked at the coffee table in front of him. His cell phone sat in the middle of it, and he knew the first thing he would do if he picked it up. He glanced at the clock and quickly did some figuring in his head. _It's 11:30 here...so it's around 8:30 in Vegas. Greg should be up and getting ready for work._

With that said, he picked his phone and dialed the number he would never forget before he lost his nerve. He hadn't talked to Greg since that night before he left again, and hoped to God that Greg would pick up. Luckily for him, the younger man didn't check caller ID before answering his cell.

"Hello?" Greg said after flipping open his phone.

Nick had missed that voice so much, he let it sink in before respoding. "Don't hang up." Not the best greeting in the world, but it needed to be said.

"Nick?" Greg asked, his voice getting a little high pitched.

"Yeah, it's me. But please don't hang up. I need to talk to you."

Greg shook his head, even though Nick was an entire continent away and couldn't see him. "Why don't you go talk to Jess? You're in love with her now, not me."

"No I'm not." Nick blurted before he thought. "Just listen to me for a second, okay?" Greg didn't respond or hang up, so Nick went on. "I know you hate me for everything I've done to you, and I don't blame you at all. I just...wanted to hear your voice again and tell you that I sti-" Nick stopped himself.

"You what, Nick?" Greg asked impatiently.

"I still love you. I miss you so much I can't stop thinking about you. And I wanted to say sorry for what I did. I know nothing can change it...I just wanted you to know."

Greg didn't know whether to be happy or furious. "What the fuck do you want from me Nick? I don't get you. We're together for five years, then you leave. You come back, take advantage of me, we have sex...and then you're gone again. And now you call me to say you still love me? How drunk **are** you right now?" Fury won over all of Greg's other emotions that time.

"I'm not drunk. That much. I just...I'm sorry G." Nick said, defeated.

Greg sighed to himself. "Yeah, me too." He said softly before hanging up.

* * *

Next chapter should be up soon because I'm addicted to writing this. Thanks for the reviews. 


	6. Give Me A Reason

It had been a year since that night Nick had called. An entire year without hearing another word from him or about him from someone else. Greg knew that Warrick talked to him everyday, and all he had to do was ask to see how he was doing. But he didn't care how happy Nick was in his new home with his new girlfriend. He didn't want to hear all about how Nick had moved on and made a better life for himself. Although, he would have rather heard that than what he was hearing right now. 

"He passed out in his apartment last week and has been in the hospital since two days ago. I'm going out to stay with him for a bit until he gets better." Warrick said to Catherine, unaware that Greg was listening.

"What's wrong with him?" Catherine asked with worry.

"He has pneumonia, but thought it was just a cold so he didn't go to the doctor's or anything. Then when Jess found him, they found out he was really sick. He should be okay though, it's just gonna take a couple weeks to get his strength back up and everything."

"Why isn't Jess gonna take care of him?" Catherine asked skeptically.

Warrick sighed. "She's never around cuz she's always working and stuff."

"You don't sound like you buy that."

"That's because I don't. And I don't think Nick does either, but I can't tell him what to do. But I wouldn't be surprised if she _was_ cheating on him. Jen hates her, and Jen doesn't hate too many people. Anyway...Gris gave me the month off to go stay with him and make sure he gets better. The doctors said they caught it in time and he should be alright, I just wanna make sure. "

"So that's why I'm getting sent to Chicago with Greg...because you're going to babysit Nicky." Cath said with a smile.

Greg decided this was a good time to make his presence known without letting Warrick and Catherine know he had been eavesdropping. "What did I do?" He asked, walking all the way into the break room and sitting down next to Warrick. "I heard my name."

Warrick laughed. "Are you guilty of something?"

Greg shrugged. "That depends on how much you think you know."

"You didn't do anything wrong...that we know of." Catherine said, trying to hold back a smile but failing miserably. "I'm going with you to Chicago instead of Warrick."

"Bailing out on me already? Whatever, you're not much fun on seminars anyway." Greg said with a slight wave of his hand at Warrick.

"Sorry I didn't want to go to every club you could find when we were in Miami at three in the morning. I was a little tired." Warrick responded.

Greg shrugged again. "Fine by me." He got up from the table and went over to the counter to make himself some coffee. Catherine and Warrick exchanged puzzled expressions, each thinking the same thing.

Catherine was the first to voice the question. "You're not curious as to why Warrick isn't going?"

Greg turned around, stirring his coffee. "Not really. Should I be?"

Warrick let out a short laugh. "You're curious about everything Greg."

Greg hadn't asked beacause he already knew the answer. But he didn't want them to know that, so he played along. "Okay...why can't you go to Chicago?"

Warrick looked at Catherine, who nodded for him to go ahead. They both silently agreed he should know. "I'm going to Boston to stay with Nick because he's really sick."

Greg tried to act like he wasn't worried about the guy that had broken his heart. Twice. "What's wrong with him?" He asked somewhat casually.

"He has pneumonia, and it got pretty bad. He thought it was only a cold, but then it just kept getting worse until he passed out from it. They think they caught it in time and everything and he should be alright, he just needs someone to stay with him to be sure."

"Jen called you, didn't she." Greg stated more than asked.

Warrick nodded slowly. "How did you know?"

Greg looked down into his dark coffee. "Nick would never call anyone for help. He'd let you know he was sick, but wouldn't ask you to go stay with him because he's too nice or whatever. Jen on the other hand would freak out and all but force you to go out there."

"Hit the nail right on the head." Catherine said with a small smile.

Greg looked up at her. "You get to know someone pretty well after five years." He said sadly. He looked down into his coffee before putting on yet another fake smile and looking back up at his ex-boyfriend's best friend. "Tell him I said I hope he gets better soon." Greg said softly before walking out of the break room and down the hall to the vacant locker room.

He slowly sank onto the cold metal bench in front of his locker and leaned against the wall behind him. He didn't want to, but Greg couldn't help but feel worried about Nick. He wanted to hate him for everything he had done, but he just couldn't. The only thing he could feel for Nick was love. And that was hurting more than anything had ever hurt him before.

* * *

Nick stared up at his off-white ceiling and thought about how different his life was now. He was laying on his somewhat comfortable couch wrapped up in three of four blankets that weren't keeping him from shaking. He had a fever of 102, but was freezing at the same time. His entire body ached, especially his ribs from all the coughing and throwing up he had done.

Nick rolled over onto his side so he was now staring at the side of the couch. He tried to occupy his mind by figuring out how long it had been since he had last seen Jess. She had checked up on him maybe...two days ago? She had a conference in New York or something and wouldn't be back for a few more days. Nick thought he had done a pretty good job of pretending he believed her.

He couldn't decide whether he would be relieved or happy if he found out Jess was cheating on him. He knew it sounded terrible, but he was almost begging for a reason to break up with her. She was everything he was supposed to want. Beautiful, smart, successful. But she wasn't what he really wanted. She wasn't Greg. Only Greg was Greg. Nick sighed in frustration at his own stupidity. He was torturing himself in Boston because he was afraid to lose what he had in Vegas. The more he thought about it, the less sense this decision made to him, and the more he came to realize he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

Nick couldn't stop his tired eyes from closing. He couldn't stop himself from drifting off into an uneasy sleep. And he definitely couldn't stop himself from dreaming about another memory involving Greg.

_Nick sat on the couch with the thermometor hanging out of his mouth and his arms folded across his chest, trying to keep himself warm. He tried to wait patiently for his temperature to be taken, but it seemed like it was taking forever. Greg stood off to Nick's right, trying desperately to fight back his laughter. He didn't succeed._

_"Iff's ot ugny." Nick wasn't very comprehendable because of the thermometor under his tongue._

_Greg finally let his laugh out as he walked over to Nick. He sat down next to him on the couch and plucked the glass tube from his mouth. He read it quickly before turning back to his boyfriend. "Yeah, you're definitely sick."_

_"I could have told you that one." Nick said miserably as he laid his head on Greg's shoulder. The younger man wrapped his arms around Nick's waist and gently pulled him as he leaned back so that Nick's chest was resting on Greg's and his head was nuzzled in the crook of Greg's neck. Nick sighed contently and snuggled into's Greg's warmth as he slowly ran his hands through Nick's dark hair and traced soothing circles on his back. Greg pulled the thick blanket off the back of the couch and spread it over Nick before wrapping it around him securely._

_Greg held Nick tightly and began to sing him to sleep. "Look into my eyes, and you will see what you mean to me. Search your heart, search your soul. And when you find me there, you'll search no more. Don't tell me it's not worth trying for. You can't tell me it's not worth dying for. You know it's true...everything I do, I do it for you."_

_"What are you singing?" Nick asked sleepily._

_Greg smiled and said, "My favorite song."_

_"Oh." Nick snuggled closer to Greg. "I like it too."_

_"Then why wouldn't you listen to me? Why did you leave me...throw everything we had away? I miss you Nicky..."_

Nick woke with a start, almost falling off the couch. He looked around him for a minute before realizing he wasn't at home. He wasn't laying with Greg, letting him sing him to sleep. He was alone in his apartment thousands of miles away. It was only a dream, just like all the others. A happy memory of Greg, ending with a heartbroken inquiry as to why Nick had left. How did he trick himself into believing this is what he wanted?

Greg would never leave him alone. Whenever he was sick, he would always take care of him and make him feel better. Nick had traded that in for some blonde that's probably cheating on him right now. He had never really comprehended just how much he loved Greg until he didn't have him anymore. He knew he had it bad because whenever he kissed Jess, he pretended it was Greg. Whenever he laid with her or held hands with her, it was always Greg on his mind.

No matter what he was doing or where he was, he always thought about Greg. He had to find a way to get him back. Even if it wasn't going to work, he had to at least try.


	7. Reason Enough

Greg sat on his bed, staring down at the picture in his hands. Catherine had been asleep in the bed next to him for so long he couldn't remember when she had gone quiet and rolled over into a deep sleep. He glanced over at her and smiled slightly, glad that at least one of them was getting some rest. He looked back down at the picture and sighed silently. He couldn't remember who had taken it, but he remembered that day better than if it had happened yesterday. 

It was his 30th birthday, but that's not why he had remembered it so well. The day before, the team had solved a very high profile and difficult case, so the next day was like a double party. It had been such a nice day out that they had all gone out to Lake Mead for a cookout. They were all sitting on the beach, talking and having a great time. After Grissom had made a comment on how Greg had found a key piece of evidence by accident, everyone had laughed at how Greg had tried to play it off like he had meant to lean against the loose doorframe and knock out the board with the killer's blood and fingerprints on the inside.

Greg had that smile on that he always had when he was truly happy. After the lab explosion, that smile had almost faded completely. But then he started dating Nick, and it gradually started coming back. Now it was in full swing, and even became a little brighter when Nick wrapped his arm around Greg's shoulders. Nick gently pulled Greg towards him and kissed him lightly on the side of his head, right on his hairline above his left eye. The mystery camera man had chosen that second to take a picture of the two, and now it was sitting in Greg's hands.

Looking at himself smiling like that only made him think more about how happy Nick made him. It had seemed like Nick's main goal in life was to make Greg smile or laugh as much as possible. He was really good at it too. Even on the worst days after the saddest cases, Nick still managed to make Greg smile. Greg remembered how when he asked him once how he was able to do it, Nick simply said _"I learned it from you. You're always so happy and upbeat, and when you're not like that I'd do anything to see you smile."_

A single tear slowly rolled down Greg's cheek. He wiped it away before it made it to his jawline where it would have dripped off and fallen onto the picture in his shaking hands. He bit the inside of his cheek to try and stop himself from crying again. It had been a while since he had looked at this picture, but everytime he did he couldn't help but cry. The picture had been taken two years ago. Yesterday was his 32nd birthday.

Happy for the distraction, Greg quickly picked up his cell phone when he heard it vibrating quietly on the bed next to him. As quiet as it was, he didn't want to wake Catherine up. He flipped it open and read the display screen.

NEW VOICEMAIL

He pressed SEND and waited while the automated voice told him he had a message in his inbox. Then it began playing the message.

"Hey Greg." Greg's heart skipped a beat when he heard the Texan accent come out of his phone. "I was just calling to say happy birthday. I didn't forget...I was just asleep all day yesterday. Anyway, I hope you had a good birthday G."

Greg hung up the phone and dropped it beside him as he closed his eyes. He knew he was probably imagining things, but something in Nick's voice made him sound truly sorry. Greg shook his head. Nick had lied to him. He had broken his heart, he couldn't trust him.

Greg slowly opened his eyes and looked down at the picture still clutched in his hands. He ran his finger over Nick and whispered, "I miss you."

* * *

As soon as Nick had finished leaving Greg his belated birthday voicemail, Warrick had walked through his door. He had tried to be quiet, but once he saw Nick was awake he forgot all about that and dropped his bags at the door before walking over to where Nick was sitting. Nick stood up from the couch just in time to hug his best friend. They sat down on the couch after their brief hug, and Warrick wasted no time in finding out how Nick was doing.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. He had talked to Nick earlier, letting him know he was on his way and would be there soon. He sounded okay on the phone, but seeing him now told a different story. He was extremely pale and his eyes were bloodshot with dark cirlces underneath them. Warrick could tell just from the hug and looking at him that Nick had lost a lot of weight that he shouldn't have.

"Better than last week." Nick said with a small smile.

"There was no where to go but up though buddy." Warrick said, smiling slightly himself.

Nick nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's true." Their conversation was inturrupted by Nick's phone ringing. He picked it up quickly, hoping it was Greg. He rolled his eyes when he saw who it really was.

"Hey Jess." He said. "Yeah, he's here." Nick looked at Warrick as he answered the question. He listened for a minute before saying, "Well that's no surprise. Tell Andy I said hi." Nick pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it, realizing Jess had hung up on him. He shrugging and dropped it onto the couch next to him with a sigh.

"Who's Andy?" Warrick asked.

"Jess' law partner. But I'm 99 percent sure he didn't go to law school, and I've never met the guy."

"Then how do you know?"

"I ran into this women Jess works with a couple weeks ago. She's never heard of an Andy, and Jess doesn't have a partner."

Warrick shook his head. "Tell me again why you're still with her then."

Nick sighed again. "Because...I don't know. I really couldn't care less about anything anymore."

"Then what are you wasting your time here for?" Warrick still couldn't understand why Nick had left.

"Where am I supposed to go?" Nick asked.

Warrick wished Nick knew the answer as well as he did. "Where you belong. With who you belong with."

In Las Vegas. With Greg.

* * *

Everyday that went by where Greg didn't call Nick only made him think about the Texan more. He wanted to hear his voice again so he could tell if maybe Nick still felt something. But he couldn't bring himself to call him for fear of yet another let down. So he talked himself out of it for months until he figured it was too late.

Nick had been gone for two years. He wasn't coming back.

Greg kept trying to move on even though it was useless. How can he be expected to move on from something that he had been a part of for five years? And then it just suddenly ended and he was left with nothing but a picture and a sweatshirt. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world to deal with. He couldn't keep himself from thinking about what he'd done to make Nick leave. He had to have done something to cause the sudden change. But he couldn't think of anything, and the more he thought about it the sadder it made him.

A part of him wanted to see Nick again, wanted to start over and make everything go back to normal. The other part of him wanted to yell at him and do anything to make the pain go away. Hating Nick should be so easy.

So why was getting over him so hard?

* * *

Nick knocked on Jess' door again. He had been standing out there for a few minutes waiting for her to answer. He knew she was home, and all he needed to do was grab his jacket that he had left there a couple days ago. Forgetting his polite upbringing, Nick opened the unlocked door and stepped inside. He walked through the kitchen and into the living room, where he found not only his jacket, but the reason for Jess not coming to do the door. She had been pretty busy.

Jess saw Nick walk into the room before Andy did, so she had to push him off of her so she could wrap them in the blanket on the back of the couch they were currently having sex on. Nick looked down at the floor and grabbed his jacket off of the chair to his left.

"Sorry if I sound rude, but who the hell are you?" Andy asked.

"Jess' ex-boyfriend." Nick said, looking at Jess coldly.

"Nick, wait. Let me explain." Jess pleaded.

"You don't have to. This actually is going to be very easy, seeing as how none of your stuff is at my apartment or anything. So I'll just leave you two to finish what you started and hopefully never talk to you again."

"You're breaking up with me?" Jess asked, shocked.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, that's usually what happens after you cheat on someone." Nick turned to walk away, but was stopped by Jess' voice.

"What did you expect me to do? We've been together for a very long time and haven't had sex once. You wouldn't even let me blow you. I need physical relationships too Nick."

Nick turned back and shook his head slowly. "I never said I blamed you."

* * *

Warrick was in the middle of unlocking his car when his phone rang. He snapped it off his belt and opened it, happy to see that it was Nick calling him and not Grissom asking for him to come back in to work.

"What's up Nicky?" He asked as he got into his car.

"I have good news."

"The Red Sox won again?" Warrick asked with a laugh.

"No, better." Nick paused before saying, "I'm coming home. For good."


	8. Sacrifice

Somehow, Greg had managed to miss all the hype about Nick coming back to Vegas. How he did that, he couldn't be sure of. But he didn't care about that right now. He couldn't think or formulate a sentence. All he could do was stare at Nick as everyone hugged him and said how much they missed him. They weren't mad at him. They were acting like he had never left. Greg wished he could do the same. 

After Catherine had let Nick go, the Texan turned and looked around until his eyes met Greg's, who was still standing in the hallway looking into the breakroom. Nick smiled slightly, causing Greg to force back the tears building up in his eyes. Greg didn't smile back. He just shook his head slowly and turned his back to Nick as he walked away and out of sight.

"I have to go talk to him." Nick said as he made his way towars the door.

Catherine grabbed his arm. "Let him go Nicky."

Nick shook his head. "I can't do that again. I already did. I just need to talk to him." Catherine let Nick's arm slip out of her hand and watched as he left the break room in search of Greg. She hoped he'd find him before Greg left and they didn't get a chance to talk. Nick knew just where to look.

Nick quietly closed the door to the roof of the lab behind him, never taking his eyes off of Greg. The younger CSI was standing dangerously close to the edge, and Nick was trying to keep thoughts of what Greg was planning to do out of his head. He didn't want to scare him, but Nick wanted to make his presence known.

"Greg?" He said softly.

Greg turned around and faced Nick, revealing that he was holding a gun in his hand. "Go back Nick." He said through the lump in his throat.

"I just want to talk to you." Nick eyes were glued to the gun in Greg's hand.

"I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. All I want is for this awful feeling to go away. Do you have any idea how much this hurts?" Tears were rolling down Greg's cheeks and glistening in the moonlight. His hands were shaking, as was his voice.

"I'm sorry G. I came back to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did to you. I made the biggest mistake of my life." Nick was slowly walking towards Greg as he spoke.

"Do you expect me to just take you back? I can't do that. I can't trust you. No matter how much I love you, you don't love me."

"Yes I do." Nick said softly.

Greg raised the gun, stopping Nick dead in his tracks. Nick's chest was an inch away from the barrel, but he was looking into Greg's eyes instead. "The only way I can think to make this pain go away is if I never have to see you or think about you ever again. It's too much to handle Nick."

"I don't blame you at all for hating me. I don't blame you for wanting to kill me either. If this is what you want...if this is what would make you happy, then do it. I would do anything to change what I did to you. I'd give anything to make you happy, even my life." Greg couldn't believe the honesty in Nick's eyes and voice. Nick took another step closer so that the gun was pressed against his chest. "If killing me will make you happy, then do it. I'll do anything to make you smile."

Greg tightened his finger on the trigger, but was unable to pull it. As much as he thought he wanted to, deep down he knew he would never be able to hurt Nick. The only other thing he could think to do was something he had thought about when he was younger, but hadn't in a very long time. All in all, it would make the pain end forever. Without a word, Greg drew his hand up and away from Nick's chest until the gun was on its way to his own throat. But it never made it that far.

Nick quickly figured out what Greg was planning to do and grabbed his wrist with both hands before he had the chance to bring the gun anywhere near enough to his face. Greg tried to continue his motion upwards, but Nick was stronger and more determined than he was. Nick pulled his hand back down and forced the barrel back into his own chest. He was slowly pulling Greg away from the edge of the roof as well. When they were far enough away, Nick twisted his body and pulled as hard as he could, throwing Greg to the gravel topped floor of the roof. He fell on top of the younger man, straddling his hips, still holding the gun against his own chest.

Greg looked up at Nick through tear filled eyes and once again tightened his finger on the trigger. Nick didn't say anything, didn't protest or more at all. He just stared back down at Greg with his dark brown eyes, never letting go of Greg's wrist or the gun. Greg closed his eyes and let go of the gun. He felt Nick pull it from his fingers and heard it land on the gravel somewhere off to his left. He didn't feel Nick's weigh get off him. Instead, he felt somewhat rough hands cup each side of his face gently. He felt Nick's thumbs gently brush away the tears under his eyes that were sneaking out from underneath his closed eyes.

"Look at me." Nick whispered.

Greg opened his eyes and looked back up at Nick. Before he could say anything else, Greg asked, "Why are you doing this to me?" Nick didn't answer. "What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

Nick shook his head slowly. "I don't hate you. I've never hated you."

"Then why did you leave?" Greg almost yelled.

Nick looked down into Greg's sad eyes and knew he had to finally tell him the truth. "Because I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Losing you. I couldn't bere the thought that one day, you might not be there anymore. I learned on this job that anything's possible and nothing's guranteed. I was afraid that I would end up hurting you worse than I did. I thought you'd be better off without me anyway."

Greg couldn't help but pick up on how sincere Nick sounded. His eyes gave him away, as always. Greg could tell when Nick was lying, sad, scared, happy or mad just by looking into his his eyes. Nick definitely wasn't lying. His eyes were full of guilt and pain.

"Why would I be better off without you? I love you, you know that. I just don't understand how you could leave after five years...but apparently they didn't mean as much to you as they did to me." Greg sat up, pushing Nick off him at the same time. He got to his feet and headed for the door, his hand stopping on the knob when Nick called to him.

"Please don't leave. I hate the feeling when you walk away...like you did last time before I left. I would have stayed if you hadn't walked away." Nick pleaded.

Greg turned around. "So now it's my fault you left? Because I didn't stop you?" The tears were back, running steadily down his pale cheeks. "I can't do this Nick. It's my turn to leave. And I hope you're as afraid as am that I might not come back."

Greg disappeared through the now closed door before Nick could react. He just sat there and let him go, reasoning that he needed some time to calm down and think. He wouldn't really leave.

Nick was wrong.

He didn't know exactly how long he had been sitting up on the roof, but it was long enough. He had watched the sun come up over the Vegas horizon and sat up there all day until the sun was starting to go back down again. It was long enough for Greg to make the necessary arrangements and leave. Nick was looking out over the bright Vegas lights when he heard the door open and someone walk up behind him. He wished he had more time to defend himself from Sara's flying hands.

"What the hell did you do to him now?" She screamed as she hit Nick as hard and as many times as she could.

Nick flinched away and held up his arms to try and shiel himself. "I didn't do anything...I just talked to him. Why? What's wrong?"

"He left. He left me a note to tell you to take care of Maverick and that he hoped he wasn't going to come back. He ran away because of you." She was still hitting Nick when the rest of the team came through the door and onto the roof. Grissom grabbed Sara's hands and pulled her away from Nick off to the side where he could calm her down. Warrick and Catherine stood in front of Nick, worry etched across both of their faces.

"What happened?" Warrick asked.

Nick didn't want to tell them Greg had pulled a gun on him in case he would get in trouble or something. So he told them everything but that. "We were just talking and he understandably got mad at me for what I did and said it was his turn to leave and he wasn't sure if he was coming back." Nick shook his head and looked down at the ground. "I didn't think he would really leave." He whispered.

"Well he did." Sara yelled across the roof to Nick angrily. "He's all alone and no one knows where he is."

Nick looked up with hope in his eyes. "I know where he is."

* * *

Next chapter will be up very soon, it's almost finished. Thanks for the reviews. 


	9. More Than A Feeling

Some people might consider what Nick was doing desparate, pathetic, or completely useless. And he would admit that it sounded a little crazy, but it was worth it if he could try and start to make things better with Greg. People had done crazier things than what he was doing. 

Nick had done crazier things in his life than fly to San Fransisco.

He would have bet all the money he had, along with his car and everything else in his posession that he knew exactly where Greg was. He could see it clearly in his mind and was wasting no time getting to his destination as quickly as possible without getting into an accident. He just prayed that he wasn't too late.

And for the first time, all that praying finally came in handy.

Nick stood thirty feet behind Greg and watched him watch the sun going down behind the water in front of him. He had been right about the exact location of where Greg would be. It wasn't hard to figure out. All he had to do was remember what Greg had told him so many times about why he had loved San Fransisco so much.

"It's just a cool city. But the best part is Baker's Beach." Greg said with a smile forming on his lips.

Nick frowned. "Isn't that beach always windy and cold?"

Greg nodded. "Yeah, so there's never many people there. It's perfect to go to in early May. I used to always go with my friends on my birthday. The best spot in close enough to the Golden Gate so you can see the cars, but far enough away so you can't see them." Greg's smile grew. "I'm tellin ya Nicky, it's perfect."

Five years later, Nick was standing thirty feet behind that exact spot Greg had been talking about. He look to his right at the Golden Gate bridge, close enough to him so he could see all the cars waiting in traffic on the bridge, but far enough away so he couldn't hear the noise. He turned back to Greg, who'd hands were shoved in his jeans pockets and his brown hair dancing around on his head in the light wind.

Nick silently walked closer until he was only ten feet behind Greg, who still didn't know he wasn't alone on the beach. Nick was trying to think of what he should say. He couldn't think of any words that were good enough to say to the greatest guy in the world. He remembered how Greg would always sing him to sleep whenever he was sick or woke up from a nightmare, and figured he'd give it a shot. He couldn't think of anything else to say, and the only thing that had been running through his mind his entire trip out here was one song.

Their song.

"The strands in your eyes That color them wonderful Stop me and steal my breath Emeralds from mountains Thrust towards the sky Never revealing their depth."

Greg visibly tensed, all his muscles going rigid. He immediatly recognized the voice, and of course the song. He turned around slowly and tears immediatly blurred his vision as he saw Nick slowly walking towards him.

"Tell me that we belong together Dress it up with the trappings of love I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips Instead Instead of the gallows of heartache That hang from above."

Nick stopped when he was toe to toe with Greg. The younger man stared in disbelief, his hands now at his sides and shaking. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but it wouldn't go away.

"And I'll be your crying shoulder I'll be loves suicide I'll be better when I'm older I'll be the greatest fan of your life."

Greg was completely speechless. He had no idea what to say to something like this. He had wanted to get away from Nick, but now that he had come all the way out here for him and was singing their song to him in his favorite place, he could only think of one logical thing to do in a situation like this. The only way to say everything without saying anything at all.

He kissed Nick.

Greg took a step forward, closing the gap between his lips and Nick's. His eyes fell shut the second their lips met, and Greg couldn't have held back from kissing Nick as hard as he could if he had wanted to. Nick was able to resond right away, despite his shock at Greg's actions. He pulled Greg closer by his hips and was so glad that he didn't have to pretend he was kissing Greg. He actually was. But the kiss didn't last as long as Nick hoped it would. He felt Greg's hands pushing against his chest a second before they broke apart. Nick had to force back a sigh when he saw how sad and confused Greg was.

"Why...what the...how did you know I was here?" Greg asked when he was finally able to put a sentence together.

"This is your favorite place in the world, right?"

Greg nodded. "Yeah..."

Nick shrugged. "Well I figured that you'd come here if you ran away. And I was right."

"But why?" Was all Greg could manage to say to that.

"It didn't go exactly as planned last time I tried to talk to you. So I was hoping for another shot at it." When Greg didn't say anything or push his hands away that were still on his hips, Nick took that as a good sign and continued. "When I left, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I know that I didn't have a good reason and it makes absolutly no sense at all. If I could take it back, I would. But I can't, no matter how much I want to."

"You were gone for two years Nick. I can't just forget that."

"I know, and I'm not expecting you to. I thought I wanted something else because Vegas has been such an unlucky city for me...but it lead me to you, so I can't say that I regret moving there cuz that wouldn't be true. I only regret throwing away the best thing that ever happened to me. I regret letting go of you."

"What do you want me to do?" Greg asked, his tears returning. "I don't know what to do. I love you so much...but how can I trust you? You lied to me before, how do I know you're not lying now?"

"I only lied to you when I told you I didn't love you."

Greg shook his head at Nick's confusing answers. He couldn't understand how Nick could have just walked away from his life. He just didn't get it. How was he supposed to trust him now?

"I feel like I don't even know you anymore." The younger man said as he placed his hands Nick's forearms, but didn't move his hands away from his hips. "And I bet you don't know as much about me as you think you do."

"This is your favorite place because you used to always come here on your birthday and it's peaceful and cool, not loud and hot like every other beach. You're favorite band is the Goo Goo Dolls because they've been around forever and keep getting better. You liked cats better than dogs until you met Maverick. After a tough case or just an all around bad day, Rocky Road ice cream and wacthing Zoolander will always cheer you up. Your hands shake whenever you're scared, nervous or excited but you barely ever notice it. And I bet you didn't know they're shaking right now."

Greg looked down at his hands on Nick's arms and saw that he was right, just like everything else he had said was right too. "Why can't you just make up your mind about what you want?"

"I did make up my mind. I did that a long time ago. You're all I ever wanted G."

"How do you know?" Greg knew he sounded childish, but he wanted to believe Nick and he needed more evidence.

"When I look at you, it's more than a feeling. You're all that matters. When I lost you, I lost the only thing I had left to lose. I'd give anything to take back what I did to you. I'd give anything to make everything okay again. But I won't give up."

"I..." Greg trailed off, having nothing to really say.

"If you can look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you truthfully want me to go back to Boston and never see me again, then do it and I'll leave you alone. I don't deserve a second chance, but it's all I'll ever need to make everything okay again."

"I want you...I want you to stay with me." Greg whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make you believe that I love you more than anything and would do anything to make you happy."

Greg leaned forward, hovering his lips on Nick's. "Prove it." He said against them before Nick pulled him forward into another kiss. Neither one of them wanted to stop, but the need for air forced them to pull apart. Greg looked into Nick's brown eyes and held his gaze. He wrapped his arms around the older man's neck and held him close against his own body.

"I didn't want to give in this easily. But it's too hard not to with you." Greg said quietly.

Nick rested his forhead against Greg's, but kept their eyes locked. "You're not giving in. I'm gonna earn your trust back, even if it takes me the rest of my life. I'd make you fall in love with me all over again if I had to."

Greg smiled. "You don't have to, I've always been in love with you."

Nick smiled as well. They both smiled as they kissed again on the beach. And they both smiled on the plane back to Vegas, sitting hand in hand the whole way back.


	10. Rewritting Memories

Greg watched Nick sleep peacefully in the bed that he could now call "theirs" again. He restrained from reaching out and touching Nick to make sure it was real because he didn't want to wake him up. He convinced himself this wasn't a dream because he could feel the warmth of Nick's body next to his. Greg knew that the past however many hours it had been since Nick had found him at the beach and they had come back here couldn't have been a dream because he hadn't gone to sleep yet. 

Nick began to stir, and after a couple seconds his eyes slowly opened and met Greg's fully awake ones. Nick smiled as the sleep started to wear off from his body. He extended his hand until it was running through Greg's soft hair. Greg smiled back and pressed his lips against Nick's.

"Are you okay?" Nick asked after they pulled apart. Greg had a weird look on his face, and Nick hoped he wasn't having second thought about taking him back.

Greg nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just got used to sleeping without you and waking up alone."

"You're never gonna have to do that again sweetie." Nick said softly.

Greg's smile widened. "Good, cuz I like this better."

"Me too. I really missed you when I was in Boston ya know."

"Even though you had Jess to keep you company?" Greg asked coldly, but Nick knew he deserved it.

"She wasn't as fun to be around as you are. Besides, she wasn't really a good girlfriend anyway. I didn't even like her...I just thought I was supposed to."

Greg reaised an eyebrow slightly. "Why wasn't she a good girlfriend?"

Nick shrugged slightly. "She was never really around and we didnt' have much in common. It didn't help her case when she cheated on me either."

Greg was shocked at that, and felt bad for being hostile about Jess a second ago. "Why did she cheat on you?" He asked. He didn't know why anyone would cheat on Nick. They had everything they could ever want for when they had him.

"Because we didn't have sex." Nick said simply. He sat up and rubbed his hands over his face.

Greg sat up as well. "You never had sex with her?"

"Nope." Nick said as he shook his head. "Why? Did you think I did?"

"I just kinda assumed you would. It's not like anyone would have refused you or anything." Greg explained.

"I was the one who refused."

Greg looked at Nick's eyes and knew he wasn't lying. "You did? Why?"

"It's stupid." Nick said, shaking his head. He looked down at the sheets covering him to avoid Greg's gaze.

"Try me." Greg said with a small smile.

Nick sighed and looked up at Greg. "She wasn't you."

Greg was still a little confused. "You mean cuz she's a women?" Nick laughed at that comment. "Come on Nicky, I haven't slept yet. My mind isn't working up to its normal caliber. Help me out here."

"I mean...she's not you, so I couldn't have sex with her. It sounds stupid, but after that whole babysitter thing...you're the only one I can have sex with because it doesn't feel weird and doesn't scare the hell outta me."

"What about Christy?" Greg asked before he thought about it, but Nick didn't mind.

"I was drunk outta my mind that night. I didn't remember doing that until Ecklie told me. I was glad I couldn't remember it though. I wish I could forget about..." Nick trailed off, not wanting to think about that awful night almost 30 years ago.

Greg moved closer to Nick and took his hand in his own. He squeezed it gently as he said, "That's not stupid Nick. What happened to you was awful...but you shouldn't feel stupid or ashamed or anything because of it because it wasn't your fault. I wish I could help you more."

Nick pulled on Greg's hand, bringing him ever closer. "You can." He whispered before he leaned in and kissed Greg. He wrapped his free arm around Greg's back and pulled him as close as possible. Nick broke the kiss so he could whisper, "Make me forget." Greg nodded and pulled Nick in for another kiss, arching his hips up to meet Nick's at the same time. He put his other hand on Nick's hip to keep the contact constant.

Neither one of them let go of each other's hand.

* * *

Greg sighed contently and smiled as he opened his sleepy eyes. When he didn't see Nick, he rolled over and searched for him on the other side. But he wasn't there either.

He was gone.

Greg got a bad feeling of deja vu as he remembered the last time he had slept with Nick. He had woken up the next morning to find him gone and already back in Boston. Greg shook his head slowly as the tears started building up in his eyes. He cursed himself for falling for it again. It was definitely more painful the second time.

_How could he do this to me?_ Greg thought to himself. _How could he take advantage of me...again? I can't believe I trusted him. _Greg flung the covers off and jumped out of bed, barely noticing he was wearing a pair of Nick's shorts. He headed for the bathroom as quickly as he could, almost colliding with Nick in the process.

"Sorry Nick." He mumbled as he walked by. It took a second for it to sink in before he turned back around and faced Nick. "Nick? You're still here?" He asked, dumbfounded.

Nick nodded. "Yeah...I just had to run into the lab for a bit and didn't want to wake you up." Greg took a good look at Nick and noticed he was wearing dark blue jeans and a nice white button up shirt with a navy blue t-shirt underneath. Yeah, he had just come from work.

Greg felt like a complete jerk. "I...sorry, I didn't know you went in." He said softly.

"You thought I left, didn't you?" Nick asked. Greg nodded slowly. Nick shook his head slowly and looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry G. I didn't mean to take advantage of you."

"You didn't. I just...thought you did." Greg said.

Nick looked up. "That's not why I came back. I came back because I love you and mi-"

Greg cut him off. "I know. I shouldn't have just assumed you left again. But it doesn't matter. You're here now, and that's all I care about." Nick smiled and kissed Greg on the cheek softly. "You hungry?" The younger man asked.

Nick nodded. "Yeah. You planning on cooking?"

"I suppose I could. What are you in the mood for?"

Nick shrugged. "Whatever you feel like cooking." He said as he followed Greg into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and smiled as he watched Greg start to make the food. He was only half paying attention to what his boyfriend was saying because he was so engrossed in just looking at him that nothing else really mattered much.

Nick had Greg back, and nothing could change that.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews. Suggestions are also welcome. Next chapter should be up soon. 


	11. Not So Sweet Revenge

Greg could have stared at Nick for hours without ever realizing it. He wasn't sure how long he had been watching Nick and Warrick process evidence in the layout room across the hall from him. He actually had just noticed Warrick was there too when Nick walked behind him to the other side of the table. He couldn't take his eyes off of him, he was that happy to have him back and have things on their way to being normal again. Greg was so lost in thought he didn't hear Catherine come into the room until she spoke. 

"Greg?" She said, breaking his trance.

Greg tore his eyes away from Nick and looked at Catherine. "Yes?" He asked, as if he hadn't been staring at Nick without any knowledge of his surroundings.

"Are you okay?" She asked with amusement.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Greg said with a nod. "Better than I've been the last two years."

Catherine glanced at Nick, then back to the youngest member of the CSI team. "Everything's okay with you two now?"

"As much as I didn't think it was going to be...yeah, it is."

"You sure? Because if he's being a jerk or trying to take advantage of you or anything...just tell me and I can have Warrick kick his ass."

Greg laughed. "Thanks for the offer, but everything really is starting to get back to normal. I'm just so happy he's back that I easily forget about how bad it hurt when he was gone, and I don't care about that anymore. He's sorry, and I know I can trust him."

Catherine smiled. "Well I'm glad it's working out. Just be careful. I love Nick, he's a great guy. I just don't want to see you get hurt again."

Nick had been back in Vegas for a few months, but it was clear everyone still remembered what had happened. "Thanks Catherine, I appreciate your concern. And I give you full permission to use your judgement on when you think Nick deserves to be beat up a little by Warrick every now and then."

"What about me beating Nick up?" Warrick asked as he walked into the room with Nick.

"Greg said I can give you permission to whenever I feel fit." Catherine said with a grin.

"Do I get a say in this at all?" Nick asked, holding back his smile.

"No." His three friends said in unison.

Nick couldn't hold back his smile anymore. "Whatever, I can take Warrick."

"You wanna step outside?" Warrick asked his best friend, who slowly started walking backwards.

"Actually..." Nick said, still backing away with a smile on his face, "I'll take a raincheck on that. I gotta go do something."

"What could be better than hanging out in the lab with us?" Greg asked with mock hurt in his voice.

"Don't worry about it." Nick said with one of his famous smiles. "I'll see you at home." He was out the door before anyone else could add their input. The other three CSIs went back to work wrapping up the case, soon forgetting their curiosity in where Nick was off to.

* * *

Nick knew his help wouldn't be needed, so he didn't feel bad for leaving work early. He stopped at _Mickey's_ on his way home just as it was closing. Nick laughed, realizing he works really weird hours and hates triple shifts when he buys ice cream at ten at night. He put the to-go carton of Rocky Road ice cream in the passenger seat and headed for his house. He had opened the door, went into the kitchen, put the ice cream away and came back into the living room to watch TV before he realized he wasn't alone.

Nick stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Jess sitting on the couch a few feet away from him. She was smiling casually and motioned for Nick to sit down next to her.

"Hi Nick." She said, still smiling.

"Hi..." Nick repsonded. He looked back and forth between Jess and the door several times, trying to remember if he had locked it before he left for work hours ago. He could have sworn he did. "Can I help you?" He asked.

"Come sit, I want to talk to you." Nick hesistated for a second before slowly walking over and sitting at the opposite end of the couch. Jess moved so she was right next to him. "I never got a chance to explain to you about Andy."

"What's to explain?"

"He's not my boyfriend, you are. Were. Andy's just a bad boy. I was only physically attracted to him. He's not boyfriend or husband material like you are. It didn't mean anything."

Nick shook his head. "That's not the entire reason I broke up with you." Jess frowned at that statement, so Nick elaborated. "I'm not in love with you. I never was. I've been in love with Greg for as long as I can remember. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lead you on."

Jess nodded slowly. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this..." She said, and before Nick could react or even make sense of what was going on he felt a sharp prick in his neck, right in his vein. Mere seconds later he felt incredibly tired and couldn't control his muscles. They felt like they had been turned to stone. He watched as Jess' face moved closer to his, but he couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Don't worry." She whispered in his ear. "It' just a temporary drug. But it'll give me plenty of time to show you what you're missing out on."

Nick felt like he was having an out of body experience as he was pulled off the couch and dragged towards the hallway. Just before reaching his bedroom door, Nick was pushed up against the wall and held there by Jess. All he could do was look at her and watch what she was doing. When she leaned in close to him for a second time, Nick picked up on the strong scent of alcohol on her breath. That basically explained her crazy actions concerning the last few minutes.

"I'm willing to give you a second chance." She said before leaning all the way in and pressing her lips to his. Nick tried to pull away, but the wall behind his head prevented him from doing so. Instead he had to jerk his head to the side to break the kiss.

"I don't want a second chance." Every word Nick spoke felt heavy on his tongue and his own voice sounded weird to his ears.

Jess moved to kiss him again, but Nick pulled his mouth away in time. "Don't make me do something worse Nick..." She warned. She kissed Nick again, harder this time, making it difficult for the drugged Texan to fight her off. Nick tried as hard as he could, and increased his efforts when he felt her hand move between his legs and squeeze firmly. He would have fallen over if Jess hadn't been pinning him against the wall.

Nick managed to rip his mouth away from hers again. "Leave me alone...you can't make me love you." He said breathlessly.

Jess sighed. "I guess not. But I can stop you from loving someone else."

Nick wished he could make his hands move so he could stop Jess from undoing his belt. He felt his stomach lurch when she started pulling his jeans down, but stopped suddenly and pulled something small and black from her back pocket. Nick couldn't tell what it was until she flipped it open, revealing the sharp, silver blade hidden inside. She lifted Nick's shirt up and held the cool blade against his skin in between where the thin line of brown hair starts at his belly button and leads down a couple inches before disappearing under the waistband of his boxers. He closed his eyes when he felt the pressure change from the flat side of the blade to the sharp point being pressed into his skin right where his boxers start and his tan skin ends.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked.

"I could do it to Greg." Jess said instead of answering the question.

"No." Nick said immediatly and opened his eyes. "Leave him alone, he didn't do anything to you."

"You're right." She said as she added pressure to the knife. "But I'm sure you let him do whatever he wants to you."

Before Nick could respond, he was met with a white hot searing pain directly above his groin. He didn't need to look down to figure out what just happened, but he did anyway. He watched helplessly as dark blood spilled out around the silver blade and ran over his boxers and jeans before finally pooling on the floor. Nick's eyes snapped shut again when Jess jerked her hand to the right before pulling the knife out and dropping it on the hall floor.

"This is going to be slow and painful...but you deserved it." She whispered in his ear before turning and leaving as covertly as she had come in.

Nick had no feeling left in his body except for the searing pain two inches below his belly button. He couldn't move his arms or his hands to try and stop the bleeding from the gash in his stomach. His previously heavy body began to feel light as he sunk to his knees. He stayed like that for a few seconds, swaying back and forth slightly before falling to his left and hitting his head on the wood floor. He passed out seconds later, slowly bleeding to death in his own house.

* * *

Sorry for the cliffhanger. Next chapter should be done soon. Thanks for the reviews. Any and all suggestions regarding anything to do with the story are more the welcome. 


	12. Hands on a Miracle

Greg spun around in Archie's chair so many times he was starting to get dizzy. He had gotten bored while waiting for Archie to finish everything he needed to do with the traffic tape before it could be presented to a jury as evidence in the upcoming trial. It was taking longer than expected, so Greg entertained himself in the spinning chair as if he was 5 years old again. By the time Archie was done, Greg had more than a headache and couldn't walk straight. 

"Probably wasn't a good idea to use my lab as a jungle gym huh Greg?" Archie asked with a smile.

"I guess not." Greg said as he swayed toward the door and stood there for a second before regaining his composure. "But I'm all set. Thanks Arch." He said with a wave of his hand before heading down the hall to the locker room.

He stopped in Grissom's office quick, leaving the tape on his desk before finally going into the locker room to get his stuff and go home. He quickly did the combination to his locker and opened it. He was surprised to see an envelope on the top shelf with his name scribbled on it in handwriting he didn't recognize. He shrugged and opened it, curious to see what it was. He reached in and pulled out some pictures. He immediatly recognized the guy in the picture, and could make an educated guess at who the women was.

The first picture was of Nick standing in the hallway to the house he now shared with Greg again, except he wasn't with Greg. He was being pressed back against the wall by a women, undoubtedly Jess. Greg stared down at the picture, shocked by what he was seeing. He flipped to the next one and felt both anger and heartbreak welling up inside him when he saw that Jess' hand had disappeared between Nick's legs. But the longer he looked at Nick's face he began to convince himself that it looked like Nick was trying to stop it. He didn't look like he was enjoying any of it. Greg flipped to the next and last picture, which was by far the worst one.

Greg could distinctly make out the knife in Jess' hand as she pressed it against Nick's stomach. Greg felt his own stomach drop and his throat go dry and at the sight of the picture. He quickly dropped the pictures onto the bench next to him. His CSI training had kicked in, telling him not to contaminate any more evidence. He was just about to go find Grissom or Brass when Catherine walked into the locker room.

"Hi Greg." She said cheerfully. But Greg didn't respond. He just pushed past her as fast as he could and then was gone. Catherine frowned at his behavior. She shook her head and walked over to Greg's locker when she noticed it was still open. Then she saw the pictures on the bench.

She wasn't too far behind Greg after seeing them.

* * *

Nick floated in and out of consciousness every couple of minutes. He was now able to move more than he had before, so he was pressing his hands into the wound that was still bleeding profously. The pain had only gotten worse as time went on, and Nick knew it was only a matter of time before he blead to death.

Keeping his right hand pressed to his stomach as hard as he could, he reached for his cell phone with his left. He managed to unclip it from his belt and flip it open. With his shaking hand he tried to hold down the 2 button on the keypad so it would activate his speed dial and call Greg. But before he could hold it down long enough, everything went black and the phone fell out of his limp hand and onto the blood covered floor.

* * *

"I think someone's trying to kill Nick." Greg said as he ran into the layout room, inturrupting his conversation with Brass and Warrick.

They stared at him for a few seconds before Warrick asked, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Before he could respond, Catherine came running in right next to Greg. "He's right. Someone sent a picture of a women in Nick's house standing in front of him with a knife. He's not answering his cell or house phone either."

Grissom looked at Brass, then back at Greg and Catherine. "When did he leave work?"

"A couple hours ago." Warrick answered.

"I'll get my guys over there right now." Brass said as he quickly left.

"Hopefully this is just a false alarm..." Grissom said as he followed Catherine, Warrick and Greg out of the lab.

"With Nick's luck, you no it's not." Catherine said sadly. They all piled into her Denali and sped off to Nick and Greg's house, hoping that they were all over reacting. They didn't want to find Nick in yet another dangerous situation. They wished that when they go there, Nick would be completely fine.

They didn't get their wish.

Brass' guys sure did move fast. There were three cop cars outside of the house along with an ambulance. The rest of the graveyard shift had just pulled to a stop and opened their doors when they saw Nick being wheeled out of the house on a stretcher and whisked away in the ambulance before they even had a chance to move any further. They looked at each other with fear in each of their eyes before finally leaving the car and beginning their search for Brass.

They found him in the backyard, sitting on the porch with his head in his hands. He didn't have to look up to know who had walked up to him. "He was stabbed in the lower stomach, just above his groin." Brass said, answering the question before anyone had to ask it. "Whoever did it left the knife behind." Brass looked up at his friends, revealing his pale face. "There was blood everywhere...he barely had a pulse...the paramedic said it would be a miracle if he made it."

Before the shock of what had just happened to his best friend completely set in, Warrick said, "Then what the hell are we doing here?"

He didn't need to ask twice. They all got into their cars again and were at the hospital in what had to be record time. Greg was amazed at how quickly things had changed. He was surprised at how easily Grissom and Brass had believed him and rushed to help. He found comfort in the fact that they trusted him and had that much confidence in him. He hoped that Nick would stick around long enough so Greg could find out if he felt that way too.

They all sat in the waiting room, anxiously waiting for any news. After a few hours, Sara came running up to them. She had been at a conference in New York and hadn't gotten the news until she had gotten back to the lab. She wasted no time getting to the hospital and her friends.

"Is he okay?" She asked as she came to a stop in front of Greg.

"We don't know yet." Grissom answered. He could see that Greg was incapable of speaking. He had been silent ever since they had left the lab.

Sara nodded. She looked around at the rest of the team before asking, "Where's Warrick? Did he get hurt too?"

Everyone else exchanged puzzled glances with each other and looked around the room. "He was here a minute ago..." Brass said, thinking out loud. "I think so anyway."

"Maybe he went to get some air or something." Catherine offered with a shrug.

Greg continued to look around until he finally found their missing friend. "There he is." He said, pointing to Warrick who was walking down the hallway with an older doctor. Everyone followed Greg's finger and their eyes fell upon Warrick, who was adjusting the bandage on his arm.

"Don't ignore it if you get headaches or feel dizzy and light headed. They're normal side affects, but should be treated, okay?" The doctor said as they came into earshot of the rest of the team.

Warrick nodded. "Alright, thanks Doc." He shook hands with the older man, who turned and walked away. Warrick also turned and faced his friends, who all held curious and worried looks on their faces. When Warrick didn't say anything, someone had to ask.

"Where did you wander off to?" Catherine asked.

"I went and found Nick's doctor because I couldn't sit still and just wait. He told me that Nick lost a lot of blood...too much blood. He needed a transfusion, and we have the same blood type. So they just had to test it or whatever, and I guess it worked. I think he's gonna be okay."

Grissom shook his head slightly. "Why didn't you tell us?" He asked.

Warrick shrugged. "I didn't know I was gonna do that until I found out he needed blood. And then I didn't tell you before I did it because I didn't want you to worry."

No one said anything for a few minutes. Then Greg spoke again. "How long _were_ you gone for?" He asked.

Warrick laughed. "Long enough I guess. You didn't notice, did you?"

The others laughed as well and shook their heads. Sara smiled as she said, "I did. They would have went hours without realizing you weren't here."

Grissom shrugged. "We're worried about Nick."

On perfect cue, the doctor who Warrick had just been with came back into the waiting room. "You don't have to. Not anymore." He said with a smile. He extended his hand to Grissom, who shook it. "I'm Doctor Langford. Nick's transfusion was successful because we got the bleeding to stop and the blood took. He has thirteen stitches holding the wound closed, but other than that he's gonna be alright. He's resting now, but should be awake soon. You can see him if you like."

As Langford left again, Brass' phone started ringing. He answered it quickly and had a brief conversation with whoever was on the other end before hanging up and addressing the others in the waiting room.

"That was Sophia. My guys got Jess, she's at the station right now. Fingerprints were a match...she just won't talk until Greg's there."

"Me?" Greg asked in surprise.

Brass nodded. "Yeah. She wants to explain it to you in person I guess."

"Well screw her." Warrick said defensively. "We got her, we don't need a confession."

Greg shook his head. "No, it's okay. You go in and see Nick...I'll take care of that."

"Don't you wanna see him?" Warrick asked.

"Yeah, but you're the one who saved his life. I wouldn't be able to if it hadn't been for you. I'll see him later."

Warrick smiled slightly as he watched Greg and Brass leave with the others slowly trailing behind them. He waited a few minutes before going into Nick's room, eager to tell him how lucky he is that he finally realized how great of a boyfriend he has in Greg.


	13. Brown Eyed Guy

Greg ignored the fact that his hands were shaking as he opened the door to LVPD and stepped inside. The rush of cold air hit his face and refreshed his entire body. It was still fairly early in the morning, but it was already almost unbearably hot outside. He was thankful for the relief, but pushed that to the back of his mind as he started walking down the hallway to find Brass. His search was inturrupted, however, by a female voice calling to him from behind. 

"Greg Sanders?" The voice said.

Greg turned around and his eyes fell upon a somewhat short, skinny blonde with worried eyes behind her bangs. "Yes?" He asked, walking up to her so they wouldn't have to keep yelling down the hall to each other.

"You don't know me...I'm Andrea. Jess' friend." She said nervously. "I was the one who took the pictures and sent them to you. But I swear I didn't know that Jess was planning to hurt Nick. She told me that he cheated on her and she just wanted a little revenge...scare him a bit. We were drunk and I thought it'd be a good time. Then I saw the blood on her hands after and she said she had killed him and I sobered right up. I called the cops and turned her in."

Andrea was rambling on almost uncomprehensively. "I don't care if I get in trouble too...I just tried to do the right thing. I'm so sorry." She fell silent. Tears welled up in her eyes and threatened to over flow down her pale face.

Greg shook his head slowly. "It's okay, you didn't do anthing to him directly. Besides, he's gonna be okay. She didn't kill him."

Andrea pressed her hand against her heart and sighed in relief. "Oh thank God."

Greg smiled slightly. "I uh...gotta go talk to Jess now. Excuse me, and thanks for your help." He turned and walked away, thankful that she didn't call out to him again. He finally found Brass standing outside of an interrogation room waiting for him.

"She wants to speak to you alone, but I'm not taking any chances. I'll be behind the glass. If you want out for whatever reason, just leave. You don't have to stay in there." Brass said, making himself sound like a protective uncle of Greg.

"Okay...thanks Brass." Greg said with a small smile before opening the door and slowly walking inside. He took the chair across the table from Jess and sat down. His eyes locked with hers and he felt anger well up inside him as he thought about what she had done to Nick. But he kept his emotions in check and waited for her to say something.

"So _you're_ Greg?" Jess asked. It wasn't the nicest greeting.

Greg nodded. "Yeah. Look, I don't wanna drag this out. So just say what you wanna say so I can get outta here and go see Nick."

"Fine. " She said. "I did what I did because Nick deserved it. Nobody breaks up with me and gets away with it...especially not for someone like _you_. We could have had a perfect life together, and he threw it away."

"This is what you wanted to say to me?" Greg asked angrily.

"Oh I have more. You must think you're so special because he's with you. I don't know why he is, but that's his problem. I just thought you should know that no matter how much you think he loves you, he's probably lying. He lied to me about it, what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you?"

Greg stood from his chair and turned his back as he started walking to the door. His hand was on the knob and was about to turn it when Jess spoke again.

"You're leaving because you know I'm right. He's just like every other guy. He doesn't love you, he never did. And he never will."

Greg pulled the door open and stepped out into the hallway. He heard the door snap shut behind him and was about to leave when he saw Brass emerge from the door next to the one he had just come out of. The police captain didn't need to say anything. He just looked at Greg with a sympathetic look.

"I'm going to see Nick." Greg said over his shoulder as he walked down the hall and out of the station back into the swealtering heat.

* * *

Greg wasn't as aware of the burst of cold air conditioning when he entered the hospital. He couldn't think about anything else other than what Jess had said to him. He knew that he should know better than to believe her, but her words did make him think. He shook his head to try and clear his mind, almost walking into Warrick in the meantime.

"Woah Greg, careful man." The older CSI said. "How did the interview with the devil go?" He asked.

"Could have been worse I guess. How's Nick?" Greg asked, changing the subject.

"He's fine. He's still awake and wants to see you." Warrick responded. He watched as Greg slowly walked by him and into the hospital room Nick was occupying. He sighed before turning and leaving to see if his help was needed back at the lab.

Greg hesitated for a second before going over and sitting down in the blue plastic chair next to Nick's bed. Other than an IV in his arm and a band-aid on his neck, Nick looked perfectly fine. He was a little paler than usual, but at least he wasn't in an awful physical state. His emotional state might be a different story however.

"Hi." Nick said, a small smile forming on his lips.

"Hi." Greg replied, his own lips smiling automatically at the sight of Nick doing so.

"Warrick told me Jess wanted to talk to you...what did she say?" The injured man asked.

Greg shook his head slightly. "Nothing, it's not important."

"That means it is." Nick said. "She's never been the nicest person in the world. What did she say to you?" Nick asked again.

Greg knew he wouldn't be able to leave without telling Nick everything, so he gave in. "She just said that...that you deserved this and that you're just like every other guy and lied about loving me." Greg said the last part in just above a whisper. His voice was so soft and quiet that Nick had barely heard him.

"What? Greg, you know that's not true. You know I love you." Greg looked down at his hands and Nick felt his stomach drop slightly. "If you don't believe me and think that I would lie to you about that...then I guess you were right when you said you didn't know as much as you thought about me."

Greg looked up from his lap and into Nick's eyes. "If it weren't for your job, you'd spend your entire day watching movies and reading. Your favorite movie is 'Heat'. You always root for the bad guys in the movies because it makes it more interesting. We have HBO for the sole purpose of you being able to watch Entourage. You never ate sweets until you started dating me, and now you're pretty much hooked like I am. You hate the feeling when I walk away because you have that stupid idea in your head that you're never going to see me again. Anyone who knows you well enough knows that you give everything away in your eyes. That's how I know you'd never lie to me even if you wanted to."

Nick smiled slightly. "Okay...so you know a little bit about me."

Greg moved his hand to hit Nick playfully, but his hand was grabbed by the Texan who threaded their fingers together and held them firmly. Nick rubbed the top of Greg's hand with his thumb gently, calming the younger man's nerves from before.

"I was so scared that you were dead." Greg whispered after a while. Nick didn't respond verbally. He just squeezed Greg's hand reassuringly, encouraging him to go on if he wanted. He did. "I was scared when you got sick back in Boston too. I was mad at you and everything for leaving and whatever...just the thought of you being completely gone, forever, scares the hell out of me."

Nick pulled on Greg's hand so that he was leaning forward over the bed. Nick leaned up until his lips met Greg's and kissed him soundly. He pulled back far enough so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes. He reached up with his free hand and brushed the hair back from Greg's forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere sweetie. I'm gonna stay here with you for the rest of my life. If I could take back what I did, I would do it in a heatbeat. But I can't. All I can do is give you everything I have...which is so much less than you deserve but I'll still try. I'll never be completely gone G."

Greg smiled and kissed Nick again before carefully rolling over the older man and onto the small hospital bed. After a few seconds of careful arranging, Greg was laying in Nick's arms with his head resting on Nick's chest. Their tired eyes slowly closed as they began to give in to the urge to sleep. Greg waited, however, until Nick's breathing was slow and steady under his ear. He listened to the quiet beating of Nick's heart. Greg was slowly lulled to sleep by the steady beating and gentle rise and fall of Nick's chest.

* * *

The next and final chapter should be up soon. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, but I'm sure I'll think of something. Any ideas? Thanks for the reviews. 


	14. Shaking

Song at the end isn't mine. It's "If All Else Fails" by Matchbook Romance.

* * *

Greg would have been really mad that Grissom had called him in on his day off, again, if it hadn't been for the fact that he was working with Nick. The younger CSI knew that the only reason he had been called in was so that Nick wouldn't have to work alone. Even though the abduction had been a long time ago, Grissom was still wary about letting Nick work alone. He didn't even like letting anyone else go solo, so he cut down on doing that as much as possible.

Now that he thought about it, Greg was actually glad he had got called in. He thought of it as getting to spend more time with Nick, and now he wouldn't have to worry about him while he was at work without Greg there to make sure he was okay. The case was easy enough, and the night seemed like it was going to continue to go on smoothly.

How was Greg supposed to know that the killer was going to come back to the scene?

"Hey G?" Nick called from the kitchen as he walked back into the foyer of the large house in Henderson.

"Did you find anything?" Greg asked.

Nick shook his head when he came into view with Greg. "Nothing good. Just some more prints and what I think might be apple sauce in the bedroom."

Greg raised his eyebrows and smiled slyly. "Kinky."

Nick rolled his eyes. "Can you check the other bedroom? I'm gonna do the bathrooms."

"Okay." Greg said as he headed for the stairs behind Nick. "Let me know if you find anymore apple sauce."

Nick couldn't help but smile as he walked into the bathroom and flicked on his flashlight. He scanned over the sink and tub before his eyes wandered over to the window. He walked up to it when he spotted blood on the broken glass. Without even having to look too hard, he noticed that the blood was still wet. Nick furrowed his brow in confusion. All the other blood pools had dried already because the crime scene was so old. This blood was fresh.

_Someone had just broken this glass and came into the house._

Nick froze when he heard someone walk up the stairs and into the bedroom next to the room he was in right now. It was too dark to see who it was, but he knew it wasn't Brass or any other police officers. He wasted no time getting out of the bathroom and making his way into the bedroom he knew Greg was in by himself. It was dark in the room, but the light coming in from the window was enough for Nick to see Greg standing as straight as an arrow with a taller, blonde haired man behind him holding a gun to his head.

"Don't move." The other man said. He kept the gun pressed against Greg's temple. Nick could tell he was scared by the intense shaking of his boyfriend's hands.

The Texan remained calm and kept walking forward. "What are you doing?" Nick asked.

"You're gonna find stuff to put me in jail for this. I can't let that happen. Stop moving or I'll kill him."

Nick stopped walking forward, but didn't stop talking. "What good do you think that'll do?"

"You'll loose a cop." The man gestured to Greg with his free hand as he said this.

Nick shrugged. "He's only a CSI One. It's not like he's important to our team or anything. We can replace him easily. It'd be a waste of your time man."

The blonde pressed the gun against Greg's head harder. The youngest member of the CSI team closed his eyes so that he wouldn't have to look at Nick and see the honesty in his eyes that he thought would be there. He thought Nick meant what he was saying.

"Just...stay back. I'll kill him I swear."

Nick laughed humorlessly. "I'm tellin ya it's a dumb idea. Do you really think anyone would miss him?" A single tear fell from under Greg's closed eyelid and slipped down his cheek. Nick ignored it because he thought his plan was working.

"What do you suggest I do then smart guy?"

Nick took a couple more steps forward. "I'm a much higher level than he is. I've been doing this for a lot longer and I'm better at it. A real loss would be losing me, not him. Let him go, you can have me."

The killer shook his head. "If he's so insignificant, then why are you trying to save him?"

"I'm not." Nick said, shaking his head. "I'm trying to help you. Why would I wanna help him?"

Nick kept walking forward until he was standing right in front of the man with the gun and his captive. Nick was standing so close to Greg he could feel his hands shaking against his own. All he wanted to do was grab him and hold him and make everything okay. But he knew he couldn't risk it. He had to make sure Greg was safe first before he could think about doing anything else.

"Why don't I just kill you both? That'd solve a lot of problems." The man sounded desparate and scared. He looked like he was willing to do something stupid if he had to.

Nick had to make sure it didn't have to come to that.

"Just...let him go. We can talk about this, okay?"

The guy started to loosen his grip on Greg a little, but didn't pull the gun completely away. "I don't trust you."

"I'm not the one with the gun. Let him go." Nick tried to reason.

The blonde just shook his head and moved his finger to the trigger. Before he even had to think about it, Nick lunged forward and grabbed the guys wrist, pulling it forcefull away from Greg's head and toward the far wall. He used his free hand to punch the other man in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him. He ripped the gun from the killer's hand and forced him to the ground. Nick wasn't aware that Brass and other police officers had come running up the stairs when they heard the strange voice until Brass was gently pushing him off the killer so he could be arrested. Nick got to his feet and looked around him, but Greg was no where to be found. Forgetting the scene before him, he went down the stairs and outside in search of the younger man.

Greg was nowhere to be found at the house. An officer told Nick that he had left, most likely heading home. Nick got into his Denali and sped off towards their home, praying that Greg would be there.

* * *

Nick finally found him on his knees in front of their bed. Nick slowly walked up and kneeled in front of him. He put one hand on Greg's hip in an effort to try and steady his shaking body. He used his other hand to lightly brush away the tears on Greg's cheeks. When Greg looked up, he was surprised to see Nick's own tears falling from his eyes. 

"Greg, I didn't mean what I said. I only said that so he'd let you go. I thought that if he didn't think it was worth killing you that'd he'd leave you alone. I just didn't want you to get hurt."

Greg sniffed slightly. "But you were right. I'm not a good CSI and you are better at than me."

Nick smiled. "No I'm not. It may seem that way because I've been doing it longer, but you're a lot better at this than I am. I'm not just saying that either. You have a knack for this G. And if you're not better than me right now, you will be very soon. "

Greg shook his head slowly. "But I messed up my proficiency tests before and everyone kept telling me I should just stay in the lab."

"That's why you're gonna be so good. Because you want to be. No matter what anyone says, you're a great CSI and you have no idea how proud I am of you." Nick leaned forward and kissed Greg gently.

"You were really gonna let him take you instead of me, weren't you?" Greg asked.

Nick nodded. "I would do anything to keep you safe. You mean so much to me I'd give you my life if I had to."

"Why?"

Nick frowned slightly. "Why what?"

"Why would you do that for me?" The younger of the two asked.

"Because I love you." Nick said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "I know you don't trust me because of what I did, and I don't blame you for that at all. I fucked up big time. But that doesn't mean I don't love you."

Greg smiled and kissed Nick. "I know. And I do trust you. It's just hard to believe that someone like you loves someone like me. You could do a lot better Nick."

Nick shook his head. "No I couldn't. No one could do better than you. And even if I could, why would I want to?"

Greg's smile widened as Nick's lips connected with his own again. He deepened the kiss and pulled Nick's body flush with his. Greg wrapped his arms around the Texan's neck and shivered when Nick firmly put both of his hands on Greg's waist and held him close. When Greg's shaking didn't stop, Nick pulled away enough so that Greg could bury his head in the crook of Nick's neck.

"What's wrong?" Nick whispered in Greg's ear.

Greg closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "I don't know. I...sometimes I don't think this is real. I forget you're real."

"This is real G." Nick said as he ran his hand back and forth through Greg's soft hair. "I promise you everything's okay."

Greg nodded slightly and lifted his head from Nick's shoulder. He looked into his boyfriend's deep brown eyes and saw nothing but love and caring in them. He pulled Nick into another kiss that quickly escalated. Nick's hands pulled Greg's shirt off as they got to their feet. Nick's shirt was soon gone as well and his hands were working on Greg's jeans as they fell onto the bed. Greg's body was covered in the warmth of Nick's and he pulled the other man as close as possible by hooking his fingers through Nick's belt loops and tugging to create more contact.

They broke their kiss for the necessity of oxygen. Greg slipped his finger from the loops and let them roam to Nick's zipper, but stopped when Nick whispered in his ear.

"I'm not doing this to take advantage of you." He said.

Greg didn't really understand what he was talking about because he was so lost in a cloud of lust. "What do you mean?" He asked.

Nick pulled back more and looked Greg in the eyes. "I'm not doing this just because. I want you to feel that it's real...that I'm real...I wanna make everything okay again."

"I know. I trust you." Greg leaned up and kissed Nick's neck. Against the warm skin of Nick's jaw he said, "I know you need this as much as I do too."

Nothing was said after that. Nothing else needed to be said. They both knew how the other felt and what the other needed. All they had to do was go with what they already knew. The familiar feeling of fingers running over warm skin wasn't new, but it still brought goosebumps. Every feeling that needed to be expressed and every word that needed to be said were all taken care of just by their actions.

Now, laying in Nick's arms with his head on the other's chest, Greg couldn't keep his eyes open and soon gave up trying. He surrendered to the overwhelming feeling of sleep and let his eyes close, knowing that he was safe right where he was. He knew Nick was still awake because he coud still feel his fingers lightly tracing over the scars on his back. He let the calming motion lull him into sleep.

Nick was exhausted, but didn't feel the need to sleep. All he wanted to do was lay right where he was with Greg and stay like that forever. Nothing needed to be changed. Everything was perfect. He had lost what he loved most, but then he got it back. There was nothing that could ever take Greg away from him ever again.

"Nicky?" Greg asked sleepily.

"Yeah?" Nick was surprised at the sudden voice. He thought Greg was still asleep.

"You meant it when you said you were gonna stay here with me forever, right?"

Nick smiled and kissed Greg's forehead. "Of course. You're my heart Greg. I can't live without my heart."

_If all else fails  
You can look up at the sky  
Because it's the same one  
That shines above you and I  
And if all else fails  
You can close your eyes  
And I'll be right beside you  
I'll be the one by your side_

* * *

Thanks to all who read this and a special thanks to everyone who reviewed.


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